The Return of Princess Model

Friday night was supposed to be a quiet evening for me to stay home and kick back with a few DVDs. Kam rang to ask me to go to Lavish. Was not particularly in the mood for it cos none of my friends were around. Then Goofy sms-ed me and wanted to catch up for drinks. Havent seen him since before Xmas last year and we've been meaning to catch up for lunch in the last few weeks, but it never happened. And yes, drinks obviously meant going to Lavish. So, I was influenced to go ..... didnt really take that much hard work, but I ended up going with Kam and I was so happy that Ball Breaker came to meet me there. I actually had such a good time with Ball Breaker. Cant remember the last time the two of us went out together, got smashed and laughed all night. It was good catching up with Goofy. He also brought a friend along who he thought he could line up with Ball Breaker. Unfortunately, he's definitely not her type. Well, we tried to make it happen.

Was up early on Saturday to pick Princess Model up from the airport. We've definitely missed her, and the buzz is now back in Melbourne! She didnt have a good flight flying in from Hong Kong and was unfortunate enough to be sitting next to the most annoying person on the flight, who wouldnt stop talking to her for 9 hours. Poor thing. We met up with Ball Breaker for lunch at our favourite retaurant in Richmond and then went on to have coffee in St Kilda. Too much catching up to do. Ball Breaker and I were so drained from the night before that we could only manage coffee at St Kilda. We had plans to crack open a few bottles of wine but thankfully we didnt. The three of us were exhausted. We had to fill Princess Model in with the latest goss. We talked about VB, about Ball Breaker's conquests, amongst other hot gossip topics. Princess Model told us she didnt get much of an opportunity to catch up with Miss 3 this time around. Contrary to what VB thinks, Princess Model and Miss 3 are not joined at the hips. Went home for a power nap and hoped to catch up again later on in the night, but I couldnt possibly move after I got home. Spent an hour on the phone with Samantha Jones. She met up with Mr Security again on Friday night. It is finally over. He gave her no indication that he was interested in a relationship with her. Neither did he indicate they would continue on with a purely physical relationship; a department he didnt excel in anyway. No skill, no mass - it's all wrong. But SJ had to find out for herself if there was even an inch of possibility that it could work. From what she told me, the only thing he did extremely well on Friday night was to successfully turn her off him completely. See, so it is so much better to regret something you did than something you didnt do. Or else, SJ would still be regretting it till this day. Out with the old and in with the new. As Piggy says, SJ needs a new hunting ground to lay the bait.

Sunday I went to play badminton with BBs. TOT couldnt make it and Cutey was just too lazy. Two and a half hours of work out later, BBs and I went to Cutey's sister's place for a very late lunch. There was a CNY party going on and we had turned up just for the feed. Mr S and Swing Sister are back from KL and were both at the party as well. After filling our stomachs, we went back to BBs's place and ate again. What the? What was the point in working out in the first place? Liv made Oxtail Stew and it was delicious. Too hard to resist. It was so good, I even got her to give me more in a doggy bag! BBs and I have decided that the next time we play badminton, the excutive decision is to only have a small meal after. Yeah right! Let's see if that happens. Shorty was over at BBs's as well. We spent the night talking and bitching about Trash. Earlier on in the day BBs had sms-ed Trash to congratulate her on her impending big day. BBs then gets a reply from Trash inviting her to the wedding. BBs felt terribly cheated and second rated. Had she have not sms-ed Trash to congratulate her, there would be no invitation. And to top that off, Shorty is getting an invite too. Wow. This is gonna be real interesting. Shorty will be taking me as her date for the wedding. I can already see the look on Trash's face if and when she sees me at the wedding. Hah! BBs reackons if I sms-ed Trash to congratulate her, I would get an invitation too. Lovely. Just what I wanted. But you must admit, it would be funny if I did indeed go as Shorty's date and perhaps BBs can take SJ as her date. Trash will die ten times over if she saw SJ. Too funny. Ball Breaker is supposedly meeting up with Trash tonight for a drink or something. Cant wait to hear the goss...!

Shorty and BBs were telling me how some people find me intimidating. Well, I've got news for you people, if I'm intimidating, Ball Breaker is definitely not bearable. Shorty tried to explain to me that some people take offence to my straight forwardness and find it hard to relate to someone who's vocal and outspoken. But she however, doesnt feel intimidated or threatened by me. So, the princesses out there who are too weak to stand on their own two feet and cant deal with someone of my calibre, should really dig a hole for themselves, and climb in it. I agree that there is always a time and place for certain things to be said and done. But I'm professional enough to recognise this. I once had a conversation with this girl and the whole time I was talking (as a matter of fact I did all the talking), she just kept shaking and she refused to look me in the eye. I hadnt even raised my voice yet and she couldnt even manage a "boo" in the half hour I was talking to her. Sad. I'm sorry some of you cant handle this personality but majority of my friends are used to this behaviour. They know I have no bad intentions. When I call someone a f*ckin' bitch, I dont actually mean it. FFS, I call Ball Breaker and SJ a f*ckin' slut all the time and I dont see them crying about it. And I know deep down inside, Shorty still loves me! Muahahaha.... :-D And I will forgive her and BBs for not even calling me on Saturday night to tell me they were going out!

Revenge of The Ex-es

Yee Sang @ Red Emperor - yummy....

Had Chinese New Year dinner last night with Cutey, her sister, her mom and Ball Breaker. We went to Red Emperor in Southbank and had the traditional "low hei". It's a lot better than what we are used to in Malaysia. The low hei at Red Emperor was impressively full of raw salmon unlike what we get in KL. It was scrumptious. I'm not a huge fan of yee sang but the one at Red Emperor was really good. Even Ball Breaker enjoyed it! Cutey had also pre-ordered "Beggars Chicken" two days in advance. The dish was massive and thank God we didnt over order, as we usually do with Cutey around. The chicken was beautiful, the meat so tender, it melts in your mouth. The service was impeccable plus we had the added bonus of being served by one of the owners herself. The night was good and made me wish I was home in KL celebrating Chinese New Year with my family. Sadly, I havent done this in many, many years.

Beggar's Chicken - 48 hour order notice

After a few glasses of Sauvignon Blancs (nothing but Marlborough, NZ) Cutey decides to call JY in Germany to wish him a happy new year. Well, I dont think she really wanted to speak to him. She just wanted to tease Ball Breaker. JY was apparently sick and in bed but rather obviously surprised to hear from Cutey. I bet his immediate reaction was to think that something is wrong with Ball Breaker that's why her friends are calling him. The conversation was short and sweet with Ball Breaker lost for words; and believe me, this is a first. Ball Breaker was dumbfounded and couldnt believe Cutey just called her ex-boyfriend in Germany! Two ways to shut her up I've discovered, give her a smacky E and ring up her ex. After the phone conversation, he sms-ed Cutey to thank her for calling and to also find out if something was indeed wrong with Ball Breaker. Cutey should've told him Ball Breaker was having a mental breakdown and has gone mad cos she really has.

Then, of all nights, Trash decides to call Ball Breaker last night. Ball Breaker didnt answer the phone but got a voicemail message from Trash. Another ex; my ex-friend and Cutey's ex-girlfriend. So, after dinner, Ball Breaker calls her back. It's confirmed that Trash and 501 are getting married; on March 18th to be specific. So, while Trash craps on about her wedding plans to Ball Breaker, Cutey and I are in fits of laughter. Trash has given up her job "flying" (hostie with Virgin - basically waitress in the sky and with Virgin, you're not even really a waitress). So, she's gonna get married and become a lady of leisure in her 1.3 million dollar mansion. Why? This has always been her dream from when I first met her. Never had any aspirations or ambitions to succeed career wise but always aimed to marry a rich man and live happily ever after. Atleast she's met her goals in life. Cant say the same for myself. Maybe my expectations are just too high. If I had've just aimed to finish school, find a rich man, marry him and live in a mansion as a lady of leisure, I'm pretty darn sure I would've achieved this five years ago. So, the wedding is going to be held in 501's house and apparently the marquee will be erected on the tennis court. Fancy. The parents are not too happy about the arrangements though. Like any Asian family, they were hoping the wedding would be in a typical reception where they could invite atleast 800 people. Typical. So, Ball Breaker has finally gotten an invitation just 3 weeks before the wedding. And she was worried her ex-school mate (hah! another ex...) forgot to invite her. And before I forget, Trash mentioned to Ball Breaker that she wanted to go back to school to study fashion design. WTF? I shouldnt be like that. She could potentially be a hot fashion designer in the future.

As if two ex-es in one night was not enough, I pick up the phone to call Baby; another one of Cutey's ex-girlfriends. Well, Ball Breaker was not happy about Cutey calling her ex, so she had to call one of Cutey's ex-es to get her back. This time I got on the phone and spoke to Baby. Wished her a happy new year and then drilled her about her life in Ipoh. She's engaged to be married next March. WTF? And she told me she's been with this guy for over a year and a half. If my calculations are correct, Baby was here January last year and she was still with Cutey then. This is interesting. Cutey doesnt really care cause she already had TOT. So, it does take one to know one. Baby is thinking of moving to Australia next year and she may come to Melbourne or move to Sydney. How very interesting.

The night ended with the three of us in tears of laughter. From what I heard, Ball Breaker then went to Cutey's after dinner and stayed there till 7.30 this morning! Siew Yum and November Cleo were over there too, drinking and smoking. I cant believe Siew Yum gave in to peer pressure. Lucky for me I wasnt persuaded to go over cos I would've left feeling grumpy.

B1's Hen's Night

The Princes in action

The party started around 4pm on Saturday. Ball Breaker and I headed to B1's house after rushing from the city. It was a painful 38 degrees and it was hard work looking for the "Bride To Be" sash and veil for B1 to wear on the night. I was close to giving up on going anywhere on Saturday. I so wanted to stay home and relax with the air conditioner on full blast. But ofcourse I couldnt possibly do that. The minute we got to the house, the drinking had already started. There were a good 10 - 15 people there already. B1 made Jaeger Bombs, which were surprisingly a lot more potent than the ones we are used to at clubs. My head was spinning from just one and I usually have more than 4 or 5 at Lavish. The drinking continued for a good 2 hours before we all headed to Crown for the strip show. B1's sister had organised tickets for all us to "Princes of the Night" at the Odeon. The boys were sizzling hot but cant say much for the perfomance. They did several dance routines and it was just that, dance routines. They barely stripped down to their g-strings, and mostly kept their pants on. Come on, this is a strip show, so I obviously wanted to see them strip. The most they did was prance around on stage topless. Given the two 38 degree days we had on the weekend, I would've seen more flesh on St Kilda beach than at The Odeon. Mandate is a much better show than the Princes. I saw them perform at Inflation last year. The venue is a little dodgy but the show was better. Half way through the performance of the Princes, I was just getting bored. I couldnt help but scream out to the stage "take it all off", but they didnt listen to me. Damn!

The beautiful hen

B1 was plastered but was still standing, minus her shoes, at the end of the show. She had a great time, no doubt. B1's sister in law, who is now my NBF was a great laugh. She was totally out of control trying to grab the Princes. The night ended quite early for some. And the rest of us staggered down to Blvd. Actually, only four of us could be f**ked walking all that way. The music was a lot better at Blvd than The Odeon. By the end of the night, it was only Ball Breaker and myself left. We are such losers and we love it! Kam was kind enough to give us a lift home. If not, it would've taken Ball Breaker and myself forever to get a cab home.

The buck's party was at Spearmint Rhino. From what I heard, the buck was not too impressed with the whole set up. He was called up on stage and stripped down to his bare arse. He bared his jewels to the crowd at Spearmint Rhino. Not a happy chappy. Now, that was a very cruel thing to do. How could the best man to be organise such a stunt? Wonder if he'll still be the best man after this..... Spoke to a friend of mine BK and it was such a laugh when I found out she was actually at Spearmint Rhino on Saturday night for a birthday party; and she witnessed the whole buck's performance on stage! According to BK, that was the highlight of the entire night. She mentioned that the strippers were indeed very rough on the buck, slapping him around with their bare breasts! What pure coincidence. Ball Breaker, you need to tell B1 about this!

So, this was my way of welcoming the Year of the Golden Pig. Spending it at the strippers and getting smashed. It was fabulous. Wishing all of you a good year ahead! Oinks!

Quotable Quotes IV

"You wanted a surgeon, I got you a f**kin' surgeon!" Mr S.

"Be nice" Mr S.

"I have a b*ng with no weed :( " Swing Sister.

"He is on a need to know basis" Anon.

"How do you have heartless sex?" November Cleo.

"Samantha Jones is not the only loser in town!" Samantha Jones.

Quotable Quotes III

"What people think of me is none of my business" Anon.

"Are you for f*ckin' real?" Anon.

"...story of my life" Anon.

"Did you know *** has a blob?" (as opposed to blog) Anon.

"Dim gai gum geh?" Princess Model.

"Do I look like a hooker?" Princess Model.

"I look like a f*ckin' slut" Ball Breaker.

"Do you like my hooker shoes?" Ball Breaker.

"Got grass, play!" Azamat.

"I dont want him...but I want him to want me" Ball Breaker.

"You goose" B1.

"I'm going straight to hell" Ball Breaker.

"I look like a $10 whore" Samantha Jones.

"Did you meet me yesterday?" Ball Breaker.

"It's my blog and I can write whatever I want" Anon.

Valentine Schmalentine

Valentine schmalentine.....what is the big fuss over Valentine's Day? For those who are attached, shouldnt everyday be Valentine's Day? And for those who are single, why the pressure to find yourself a date on Valentine's Day? I dont get it. Everything is over priced today. Roses, normally a dime a dozen are probably $50 a dozen today. Meals, normally $20 per head will probably cost $50 per person. Dont get me wrong. I'm not against this auspicious day. I am a true romantic at heart (I'd like to think anyway). But some of you will agree, this day is just over rated and it's becoming a money making scam more than a symbol of romance. Then there is the question of what is an appropriate Valentine's gift. If you've only been with the person for two weeks, what should you buy? If you've been with the person for six months, what should you buy? What if you've been together for 6 years, do you even still celebrate Valentine's Day? I'd rather receive a bunch of roses any other day than Valentine's Day. Getting flowers on Valentine's Day makes me feel like the giver is obligated to buy flowers as a gesture for remembering it's Valentine's Day. Why cant I get flowers on other days? For no apparent reason, just for the sake of it.

My dear friend Princess Model sent me these Valentine's Day cards today. An ironic twist on a romantic day. And they're funny too.

Hope everyone out there has their own way of celebrating this day. I'm looking forward to my hot date tonight! For those who are attached, may everyday be Valentine's Day for you.

When Friendship Is Like Fashion

I once read an article that stated; "there are 3 reasons for why people come into our lives". What could these 3 reasons be? Friendships come in many shapes and sizes. How do we determine if someone is worth keeping as a friend? Shouldnt we all be generous and accept people as they are? My view is that friendships are like fashion. I personally have several Chanel pieces, timeless, classic, reliable and worth keeping forever. I also have some BigW pieces; cheap and nasty. But I try not to discriminate. Just like shopping, I'm happy to shop in Chanel, Gucci, Target, BigW or even Dimmey's.

Unfortunately, this cannot be said for some. I once knew a girl whom I was very close to at the time. Our friendship was indestructible. We were like two peas in a pod. She hung out with all my friends, come to think of it, she didnt have any friends of her own. Well, the point is when she discovered that my group of friends, myself included, was no longer any use to her, she broke the friendship off. She was the type who would hang off me because I knew someone of interest to her. Therefore, it was convenient for her at the time. She was using me and all my friends. When she hooked up with another guy, she became close friends with his group of friends and left the rest behind. There's nothing wrong with getting to know new people but why leave a trail of broken friendships behind? At the time we were friends, I truly thought she'd be a Chanel piece. Boy was I wrong. She was more like a runway fashion item. Hot on the runway for one season but never to be seen again the following season.

I'm truly blessed with a timeless Chanel piece at the moment. I'd also like to think that I can collect more Chanel pieces in the future. My current Chanel is the best friend anyone could ask for. She doesnt judge me, accepts me for who I am and most importantly is in sync with me all the time. She's honest with her criticism, and considerate during my time of need. I hope I can wear this Chanel forever. Thanks babe.

We have a friend who treats us like a runway fashion item. He has the nerve to question why we accept him in the group. To be honest, there are no ulterior motives for our generosity in friendships. We allow you in the group because we like you. Well, we used to anyway. It's not because of your good looks, the car you drive, the house you own or even the job you have. Who gives a sh*t? It infuriates me when I hear you complain about my group of friends and yet you persist on hanging around us. Maybe it's our group that makes you look good. Ever think of that? I've heard too many complaints about people not taking the time to get to know you. Have you given anyone that opportunity yourself? I'm always trying to organise events away from the clubbing scene so we can all sit down, have dinner and exchange intellectual conversations. It's not my fault you choose not to be a part of this. Just because we dont grovel at your feet doesnt make us bad friends. And it was never intended to be anyone against anyone. Unfortunately, this was just a figment of your deranged imagination. We were all here when you needed us most. Who did you spend most of your time with when you were going through that life changing event?

I once had another Chanel piece in my life that chose to run away. All this drama over a woman. I kept you in my wardrobe for over 15 years and in a blink of an eye, you made the choice of leaving. It's not my fault I was the other woman in your relationship. It's not my fault she's just a Dimmey's item. I've always respected your choice, regardless of it being Chanel or Dimmey's. So, it was my fault for letting the cat out of the bag. I should never have revealed my true feelings towards her. Maybe people will just be happy living with false pretences and lies. Then we would all remain one big happy family.....???

So, 3 reasons why people come into my life....let's see
1. So I can learn something from them
2. So I can teach them something
3. So, in the end they can just run off and piss me off

Great, no wonder they say we should keep our friends close but our enemies closer. I've been blessed with many good friends whom I will always cherish if not like a Chanel, atleast like a Gucci. Friends will always come and go. Not many will stand the test of time. I've gained several new groups of friends in recent times. The Lesbians are one of my favourites. So unpretentious and just a whole lot of fun to be around. The Altar Boys as they like to be known, are a truly comedic bunch. But only time will tell if these people will remain mere acquaintances or Chanel pieces. I just hope someone out there thinks I'm their Chanel.

Shorty's Birthday

Relaxed for a couple of hours at home on Saturday and headed off to a much needed dental appointment. One of those things you dont have to enjoy but you've gotta do. I need to get my wisdom tooth removed! WTF? I'm not happy about this. The previous dentists I've seen have all told me that it's not a necessary procedure, so why now? I need another opinion...

Headed down to Hyde Bar for Shorty's birthday drinks. I must say that Hyde is not a very happening bar. Shorty's party was the only occupied table in the whole place. And to top that off, I had to pay $10 to get in!!! It's a bar FFS, not a nightclub. I was determined to spend the whole night there after having to pay to get in. 007 brought a chick with him to Hyde. I'm guessing she's Japanese. Aahh....this could be what makes him half Jap? Starfish and I couldnt stop pissing ourselves over this. The party pretty much left for Blvd by 10.30pm leaving Starfish, HYC, Azamat, MN, 007, Shorty and myself at Hyde. Starfish was wasted which is why she agreed to go along to Blvd after Hyde. I controlled my alcohol intake quite well that night. Shorty on the other hand was demonstrating her version of "The running man" at the Hyde Bar. The effects of alcohol! It was just too funny. Was actually quite happy to retire early after Hyde Bar but Shorty insisted on going to Blvd. If I had to go, I had to make Starfish go too.

Blvd wasnt too bad. Way too crowded for my liking though. Starfish, HYC and myself left about 3am. November Cleo was plastered. So was Shorty. Well, Shorty was already gone before we got to Blvd. Kam gave TOT a chance to spin some tunes at Blvd but she was too nervous infront of the crowd. Practice makes perfect babe. Keep it up! As we walked out of Blvd, I crossed the street to get to my car. Lucky thing I did cos out of nowhere, a bucket of water landed on Starfish and HYC. The look on their faces were hilarious. The water had come from the apartments on top of Blvd. But I looked very hard and didnt see anyone suspicious lurking around on their balconies. Starfish and HYC were soaked and I could hear Starfish cursing all the way to her car. I wish I had my camera on me. It would've surely been a classic shot.

Was up early Sunday morning. Why do I always spring out of bed so early on the weekends but find it so damn hard to wake up during the week? It's f**ked. Went to Cutey's for lunch and to play gin. She made bak kut teh for us which was scrumptious. Kam was freaking out (well, he didnt show it but I knew he was freaking out) in a house full of lesbians, being the only guy around. Well, some of them there are probably more man than you. November Cleo brought the ingredients for Cutey to make mango cocktails in which she now calls her creation the "Slimy Pussy". Lovely. Imagine going to the bar at Lavish and asking for a Slimy Pussy. Mr S came by after work and I didnt hang around too much longer after that. Went home and was in bed by 10.

Finally got my hands on the much anticipated article about VB from the Korean magazine. What a corny piece of writing. No offence Miss J, but none of us have actually seen this side of VB. You are so lucky to have been touched by this angel or little emperor as you put it. Why has he reserved this beautiful personality only for you? Can someone please tell me why???

Sawasdee Thai

Had an early night last night thus the weekend blogging for me. And I never blog on the weekends. Had a hot dinner date with Ball Breaker, Mr S, Swing Sister and HYC. November Cleo stood us up. I had initially invited VB, TQ and KC but none of them could make it. Well, I dont really know about KC, he never replied to my email. He's never really good with emails. Rarely does he reply to any dinner or drink invites. Why do we keep inviting him then? Hmmph..... TQ was sweet, he had to have dinner with his folks so he couldnt make it. As for November Cleo, she had agreed to come then bailed out at the last minute. Bloody bitch! We all had dinner at Sawasdee Thai restaurant in Chinatown. The food was ok, not fabulous but not too bad either. Marginally on the pricey side, although all our drinks were on the house. We couldnt move or breathe after dinner. We must've ordered enough food to feed a small village in Africa. Earlier on in the day I had visited FL for a coffee and he had suggested we go to Sawasdee. Ball Breaker and I thought it was a good idea. We had never dined there before and I should really be supporting FL on his new ownership of the restaurant. Found out that one of his other business partners in the restaurant, RL, also owns Shoya and Meshiya Japanese restaurants. Ball Breaker was keen to find out if RL had a son! Can we get a discount next time we go to Meshiya or Shoya?

Ball Breaker went to great lengths to get the local Korean weekly magazine to look up Miss J's article. Miss J writes for the magazine weekly and she had apparently written a piece on VB which we'd all like to get our hands on. VB must've had a profound effect on Miss J's life. Enough for her to want to write about it for the world to see. We are all curious to see what he's done for her. How is he a pillar of strength in her life? And why havent any of us seen this side of him? All we've seen is the sensitive side; the "four against one" side. Anyway, we still havent found the article but I'm sure we will eventually. Maybe we should just ask Miss J herself for a copy.

We had a great night dining out. We had plans to have Spanish tapas and enjoy a flamenco show but all the Spanish restaurants in Fitztroy and Collingwood were fully booked last night. Can you believe this? It was a good change from going to Lavish every bloody Friday. Cutey rang me half way through dinner and tried to hassle us to go to Lavish for the Valentine's Day celebration. Oh please. I went home after the dinner, barely able to move. The rest of them went for a drink at The Loop. I was in bed by midnight and it's quite refreshing to be up early on a Saturday with nothing to do but blog.

Found out from Starfish that LLCoolJ had sms-ed her two days ago. But she insists she cant remember what she replied him. He wanted to catch up with her. But has she agreed to catch up?? Does he not do it for you Starfish? Hah!

JL is celebrating her birthday tonight at some bar in the city. I've heard from different people that it's at the Hyde bar and I've also heard from others that it's at Red Hummingbird. Where the hell is it? I guess I'll find out soon enough.

Mother Of All Quotes

"I'm not an onion ....."FF.

"Lavish is in my blood" Cutey.

Quotable Quotes II

Here's an addition to my first entry of quotable quotes. Enjoy....

"Wahhh ... your England very powderful!!" Pink Princess.

"Just because you slept with a Japanese and a Spanish doesnt make you half Jap half Spanish!!" Pink Princess.

"I dont remember..... therefore it never happened" Pink Princess.

"Out with the old and in with the new" anon.

"Yes, I blame everything on the alcohol" Starfish.

"Cheers" universal quote from everyone, in particular November Cleo.

"Why???" Princess Model.

"Precisely" Princess Model.

"But why???" Princess Model.

"You have to drink with me" Princess Model.

"Fantastic" Princess Model.

"I have to drown my sorrows" Princess Model.

"I'm gonna be on a budget from now on" Princess Model.

Monday Night Drinks

Siew Yum finally decided to pick up her car after it spent the whole weekend with me. Promise I didnt leave any stains in it! And I so wanted to take it to Sydney for the weekend too. Went to pick Siew Yum up from work and needless to say, we ended up going for drinks at my local pub The Kent Hotel. Kam and November Cleo came to join us for drinks and before I knew it, I had downed a whole bottle of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc myself. Both Kam and Siew Yum are looking for a place. For different reasons, they are both moving out of their places. I offered Siew Yum my spare room in the house until she could find a place. But apparently she hates to sleep alone. Cant help you there babe. Why dont you move in with Ball Breaker then? I'm sure she'll spoon you to bed every night.

The party just got bigger from there. Ball Breaker came along and so did Mr S and Swing Sister. My plan was to be home in time for the premier of Desperate Housewives but my intentions were shattered. The wine was just too tempting. How I allowed myself to drink on a Monday night is beyond me. These drinking sessions only happen when Princess Model is around. On the night, we established that November Cleo had become Siew Yum's EBF and Siew Yum in return has become my NBF. I really enjoy the company of Siew Yum and November Cleo. We've all known each other for so many years, why did it take us so long to start hanging out again? Love you b*tches! After our drinking session, I managed to drive the short distance home with Siew Yum so she could get her car. I swear to God I should've driven. Bad, bad habit to drink and drive. I felt fine but I'm pretty sure my blood alcohol reading wouldnt agree.

Had a break from alcohol on Tuesday but last night we were back on the booze. What a disgrace! What's more of a disgrace was the fact that November Cleo had wanted to go for drinks on Tuesday night as well. She rang me after work and asked me to meet her in the city. Crazy b*tch. I gave it a rest until last night. Siew Yum had wanted to go out for drinks before she heads off to KL tonight. I also had to meet up with Mr S to finalise our trip to Europe. All tickets booked and I'm now totally commited to this holiday. All I have to do now is stop drinking and start saving. Sigh. Easier said then done. We met up at 3 Degrees for a couple of drinks. Siew Yum, November Cleo, Liv and Big Boobs (BBs) all joined Mr S, Starfish and myself. Siew Yum, November Cleo, Ball Breaker and myself have a habit of chatting via email on a daily basis. Yesterday, Siew Yum and I got to a point where we decided to have our conversations in Malay. Ball Breaker was unfortunately totally lost in our chatter but surprisingly, our November Cleo had some understanding of what we were talking about. The b*tch never ceases to amaze me. She had actually done Bahasa Indonesia in school. Fark....sorry Ball Breaker, you're the only one lost this time. A Viet who speaks Malay, what a surprise!

Siew Yum gathered all of us to put money in together to have a crack at the $12 million Powerball draw tonight. What a sensational idea. One can only wish for this to happen. And when it does, this blog will come to an end because I'm sure I wont have any time to sit behind a desk and give my fingers the exercise it's getting now.

Found out that Starfish went to see The Tree Hugger last night after drinks. It's the effects of alcohol. Hah! It makes one do things out of the ordinary. It possibly makes one think outside the paradigm too. Unfortunately, everyone uses alcohol as an excuse to wrong the right. Women have one up against men. We can use PMS as an excuse. Sad but true. Back to Starfish, she's finding that she needs a change. A change in men that is. Hey, it's still Summer and it's hunting season. So, what are you waiting for? Men dont fall from trees, let alone the sky. Starfish, if Mr Security calls again, just go for it. There's no time to waste.

Quotable Quotes

There has been a great demand as of late for me to upload an entry for quotable quotes. My friends sure come up with some funny lines. The kind that would always remind you of that person and only that person in particular. So, by request from my crazy pals, here are some of the most used quotes around currently:

"That is hideous!" Princess Model.

"I'm into progressive house now" Swing Sister.

"Somebody kill me" Starfish.

"I like" Princess Model.

"Do you miss me?" Princess Model.

"This is a problem" anon.

"My chee bye frozen" Starfish.

"I'm so hot, my chee bye is cooked" Starfish.

"What drugs are you on?" Ball Breaker.

"I dont give a flying f**k!" Ball Breaker

"That's just me" Ball Breaker.

"I dont get it" Cutey.

"Westside" TOT.

"What's wrong with you?" Cutey.

"I cant be f**ked..." anon.

"I still cant be f**ked..." anon.

"...but I dont like tomato sauce..." Siew Yum.

"I likey likey" November Cleo.

"I just want to kiss!" November Cleo.

"How can you just kiss? I wanna f**k!" Ball Breaker.

"Let's rock and roll kids" anon.

"I lead a normal life until I came out with you two" MM.

"So many monies on the floor" anon.

"It's four against one" anon.

"Banes of my freaking once happy and innocent life!" Siew Yum.

"I want to drink some more" November Cleo.

"F**kin'..." anon.

"SPP" Piggy.

"You girls are too insensitive" Mr S.

"You are not feminine enough" Mr S.

"He wants to f**k me" Ball Breaker and anon.

"Does everyone in Melbourne want to f**k you?" Cutey.

"Oh my God! He is in love with me" Ball Breaker.

"Does he want to f**k you too?" Mr S.

"Better to regret something you've done then something you havent" anon.

"FFU - I am fundamentally f**ked up" anon.

"I'm not seven eleven you know..... open all the time" VB.

"Whatever...." TOT.

"We're just too funny" Ball Breaker and anon.

"I'm looking for a cooking bowl" Swing Sister.

"FFS - for f**k's sake" anon.

"This is the plan...." Ball Breaker.

"She attacked me" TQ

I'm sure there's alot more to add to the list. Please feel free to send in more quotes that I've left out and I'll add them in my future entries.

Weekend of No Partying

Was supposed to go to a Singles party on Friday night but just couldnt be bothered. Stayed home instead. What a surprise! The group went to Lexington for the Singles party and from what I've heard, it wasnt that good. They all headed down to Lavish for House Edition 4 which featured guest DJ John Course. Ball Breaker had a great time. She stayed at Lavish all by herself after everyone from the group left. She was so smashed that she sms-ed me at 3am in the morning to tell me he was not bad looking. She must've been pissed. Under normal circumstances, she actually finds him revolting. What a laugh. She ended up staying the night at Cutey's and she later told me that she went to a singles party to pick up and woke up next to November Cleo. What a disaster.

Was planning to stay home on Saturday too but being the social butterfly that I am, I couldnt let that happen. November Cleo and Kam rang me to go play cards at Azamat's. Why not? It was the first time I played gin rummy with cards (for money that is). What a disastrous experience. Losing money is never fun, but luckily Azamat made us curry chicken for lunch. Thinking of the food now is making my mouth water.. *slurp* November Cleo didnt do too well either. She made sure she ate $30 worth of food before leaving. And knowing her, she probably ate $50 worth! I'm beginning to think this was Azamat's plan all along. Invite us over, feed us, then take our money!!! Next time we play gin rummy, we're doing it with the tiles! I believe everyone on the table lost money to Azamat.

Another early night for me on Saturday. Starfish and Ball Breaker both rang me around midnight but I was already in bed. A nice change to stay home and not go clubbing.Woke up early on Sunday and went down to Richmond for the Chinese Lunar New Year festival. Met up with VB and TQ there. Mr S came to join us as well. I must say this festival is alot better than the one held in Chinatown every year. But walking down Victoria St., I felt like I was in Vietnam. Everything was in Vietnamese. The stalls served Vietnamese food, the people all spoke Vietnamese, even the music playing on the streets was in Vietnamese. I left the place smelling like a Vietnamese bbq chicken. Tasty....

Crashing The Party

Went to Old Kingdom last night for dinner. Ball Breaker celebrated her birthday yet again. Well, she hasnt really had a birthday dinner yet, so last night was as good as any night. Ordered three ducks for eight people. Old Kingdom, famous mainly for their Peking Duck was true to form and we all enjoyed a scrumptious meal.

The plan after dinner was to crash Bob's second farewell party. To cut a long story short, I had asked Bob earlier in the week if we were catching up for drinks before he leaves, but I got no reply whatsoever from him. Then on Wednesday, I find out from Siew Yum that he was infact meeting the lesbians for drinks last night at a new bar called Red Hummingbird. Hmmm.... Interesting. I then draw to the point and emailed Bob to ask why he hadnt told me about drinks and asked if I would be seeing him before he leaves. I do get a response but not one word about the venue of drinks and no, he didnt even ask me to go along. I guess it's really come down to this. FF has come up on top in all this. This was never a competition in the first place but if they want to make it one, I cant help it. So, seven of us headed down to Red Hummingbird to crash the party. Well, we didnt really crash the party cos Siew Yum and November Cleo had rang me earlier in the day and invited me to this "party". There was certainly a look of surprise when Ball Breaker and I walked through the doors at Red Hummingbird. Siew Yum and November Cleo were so happy to see us, expecting us to have brought them take away Peking Duck. Get real! If there was any duck left, we would've devoured it all. Are you girls crazy? When Bob left the bar, all I got from him was "see you later" and a peck on the cheek. No "take care", "you must come visit", "I'm gonna miss you", nothing! Am I bitter? I guess so. Fifteen years of friendship all down the drain. And I thought he was one friend that could stand the test of time. People come and people go. My new motto is out with the old and in with the new. If you dont get rid of the old, how can you welcome the new?

Siew Yum was not too happy last night and thought the best way to kill pain is to drink. And that she did alot of. By 10pm she was hugging the toilet bowl like it was her best friend. She was in no condition to drive home so I offered to drive her back to my place and she could spend the night there. In the end November Cleo drove her home and I took Siew Yum's car back to my place. And this was just the start of my adventurous night. What a disaster it was! First of all, when I was given the car keys and the remote control, I wasnt given the exact location of the car. Great! Was not looking forward to searching the whole of Lonsdale St. for a silver Honda Civic. Thank God we found it. Then the remote control wouldnt work. So I thought I'd just use the keys to open the door. Bad mistake! As soon as I had the key in the ignition, the alarm was triggered and between Ball Breaker, MM and myself, we couldnt get it to stop. Well, MM just stood around and laughed all night. She really didnt do much else. The alarm went off for atleast 40 minutes. Can you imagine the stares we were getting from all the cars going by? People must've thought we were trying to steal the car! But to my surprise, genuinely nice people still exist in our streets of Melbourne. A group of Aussie boys stopped to help us get the car bonnet open. Yes, the three of us couldnt even lift the hood off the car. How sad. After popping the hood, we still couldnt disarm the alarm or the immobiliser. Then two Vietnamese guys came to see what all the commotion was about. Ball Breaker and I started to get worried when one of the guys jumped into the driver seat. So bad of us to mistake his kindness for something else. Eventually, he hot wired the car (or did something dodgy) and got it started, disarmed both immobiliser and the alarm. He was a legend. His other Vietnamese friend also fixed the non-functioning remote control. Wow...these boys were good. We said our thanks and they left. The Aussie boys on the other hand, hung around a bit before driving off. Actually, they didnt really drive off, they were waiting for me around the corner. The boys followed me all the way down Lygon St. trying to get me to pull over and give them my phone number. WTF? One kept asking if he could take me out to dinner. Boys, I really appreciated your help last night but no, I dont want to f**k any of you.

What an eventful night it was from a satisying dinner, to crashing a party, to trying to break into a car, to getting stalked and picked up by 19 year old boys. Well, they looked 19 to me. These funny things only seem to happen to Ball Breaker and myself. But if not for events like this, where would I find stories to write about?