I Almost Became a Ping Pong Girl

Well, not me. Here, I am going to tell you the story of how Samantha Jones (SJ) almost became a Ping Pong girl in Thailand. Last month, SJ, SJS and NNQ embarked on an adventure to Thailand. After spending a week in Koh Samui, the 3 of them headed for seedy Bangkok. On their second night there, they decided to take a walk on the wild side and headed down to Patpong. Oh man, when SJ was telling me this story, I already knew there was going to be trouble for 3 foreign girls walking down Patpong alone. Anyway, as you do, most people only head to the colourful and seedy area of Patpong for one thing. Well, actually you can do some shopping there too, but really, Patpong is famous (or should I say infamous) for its enormous variety of strip bars. And when I say variety, I do mean variety. Not only are there straight strip bars for men, there are also strip bars for women, for straight men, for gay men and almost all these bars have live sex shows.

So, back to my story, the 3 ladies walked along the streets of Patpong with several men touting strip bars and yelling out "You want to see fucking show?". So these 3 freshies to Bangkok decided ofcourse they want to see a "fucking" show. After much negotiation with one lad, that they would pay $100 Baht per beer and the show would be free, they followed him blindly to where they would watch the "fucking" show. "Blindly" is an understatement, they were lead through small alleys and laneways and finally up 6 flights of stairs. At this point, they still didnt question the lad. I guess this was merely an adventure for them? And at this point I was almost screaming at SJ "Is this your first time to Bangkok????" and she sheepishly replied "Yes". Oh man, my heart was pumping and I was very excited to listen to what eventuated next. Deep down I knew nothing of harm had fallen upon SJ or else I wouldnt be sipping a Sauvignon Blanc with her at Cho Gao last night. But just the thought of being all alone in a strange country, following a strange man who claims he's taking you to see a "fucking" show is scary enough.

They get to the top of the stairs and behind the closed doors was a stage and a bar. Nothing unusual looking about the place plus there were a group of foreigners in there. As the group of foreigners were leaving, SJ overheard them arguing with the manager of the bar but I guess didnt really take much notice of it at the time cos they were too busy focusing on the Ping Pong girl and watching to see where she would aim her next ping pong ball. You really wouldnt want one of those ping pong balls to end up on your lap, let alone on your face. Anyway, when they decided to leave, they were presented with a bill for 3800 Baht; 300 Baht for the 3 beers and 3500 Baht for the show. Their eyes nearly popped out of their face. Then fear set in, they looked around and realised they were the only customers in this so called bar. 3 girls, all alone and nobody to protect them. NNQ called for the manager to ask him why they were charged for the show when the lad who had lead them there told them the show was for free. A huge argument broke out and SJ had a flashback of the group of foreigners who had left a while ago. The manager had the door blocked off and the 3 of them had no way of pushing past him to get out.

NNQ: We were told beers were 100 Baht and show is free!

Bar Manager: No, no, no. Beer 100 Baht, show 3500 Baht

NNQ: No. Beers 300 Baht and show is free!

Bar Manager: No! Show no flee. You slip for flee??!!

NNQ: No. We are not paying!

Bar Waitress to SJ: (eyeing SJ up and down) You slip for flee??!!

NNQ proceeded to get 300 Baht out of her wallet and threw it at the bar. She then forced her way pass the bar manager, out the door and down the 6 flights of stair. SJ and SJS were in shock and this whole time were lost for words. All SJ could think of was how they were going to make her a Ping Pong girl in this seedy and dodgy looking strip bar. But as soon as she realised NNQ had pushed her way past the bar manager, her heavy feet lifted and both her and SJS ran after NNQ flying down the stairs. As soon as they got out on the street, they ran for their lives.

So this is the story of how SJ nearly became a Ping Pong girl in Bangkok. She can look back now and laugh about it. Thinking back, can you imagine if these Thais decided to gang rape them or bash them up or do whatever the unimaginable may be??

How dangerous and dodgy is Thailand? But I still love the country except I would never venture into Patpong on my own. My advice, when in Thailand, always call on BKK and let him take you around, atleast he's local and speaks the language, and he will never let you become a Ping Pong girl!