Bimbo In Thailand

For some strange reason, when we embarked on our journey to Phuket for Piggy's hen's trip, the Melbourne crew turned into bimbos. We were dumber than dumb and funnier as a result! TOT and I were the worst. First she walks into the glass door in our hotel room which leads into our private pool. Nice one. Unfortunately it was really one of those "u had to be there" moments. As for me, well, I was just slow and couldnt understand what people were saying. Ball Breaker and TOT always had to repeat what they were saying more than twice before I would actually get it. Not much changed for Cutey. She's always a little slow anyway, be it in Melbourne or Phuket. So for once, we understood what it was like to be Cutey.

The trip was a combination or partying and alcohol; followed by more partying and alcohol. I must say the KL crew had a totally different perspective on what consitutes a hen's trip. They were a lot tamer than our bunch. They were content with just relaxing by the pool and indulging in the resort massage packages all day, everyday. As for us, we were like a bunch of caged animals that that were released in Phuket to run wild. We barely got any sleep. We ate and got massages all day, then headed out to Patong Beach each night to tease all the boys (lady boys I should say). Each night we'd get home and jump straight into our private pool for a dose of skinny dipping. Well, we were on a hen's trip and nothing wrong with 10 girls jumping into the pool without their bikinis at 4am in the morning!

Believe or not, the first bar we walked into in Phuket, was an Aussie bar. We are such losers that we go all the way to Thailand to hang in an Aussie bar. They had the footy on tv and footy posters everywhere. Great to feel at home, except I dont like footy.

During the time we were there, Ribena bumped into a friend who was on a bachelor party trip. Unfortunately, the groom to be was ditched by his fiancee just before the trip and the boys felt that they should make the most of it and go anyway. We did hang out with them a bit. It was sort of good the feeling of being safer in numbers.

The Banana Club was alot of fun. We couldnt believe it when we got there, they actually played all the stuff Kam plays at Lavish. That made it a whole lot more fun. We all took turns to buy Piggy shots and after Banana closed we headed to some techno club called Seduction. By that stage, the type of music blaring from the speakers didnt really bother me anymore. We tried to convince Piggy that whatever happens in Phuket stays in Phuket so she could "enjoy" herself. Not a hot guy in sight, although later on in the night, we found her having an intimate "chat" with a girl outside the club. Sigh. Piggy will always be Piggy. Ball Breaker was having the time of her life dancing on the podium and for a moment Piggy thought she could fly knocking her leg on the edge of the podium. Only when we noticed her leg bleeding, did we realise the severity of the accident. She felt no pain but was tainted because it would not heal in time for her wedding; leaving her with a scar to remind her of how naughty she was in Thailand. Ribena and I had a different reason to get excited over Seduction. We went to the bar and asked if they made Jaeger bombs and to our surprise they did! The only shit thing was, the red bull wasnt chilled and the Jaeger bombs tasted horrible. Atleast we can say we've had a warm Jaeger bomb!

BKK joined us in Phuket on our last night and that night we headed into Patong Beach once again to witness Thailand's famous sex show. I can tell you it was not pretty. Ball Breaker was asking around for shows with men in it; real men. We were then told there actually was a stage show with men. The girls including BKK got really excited! After being lead through dark alleys to an area which mainly consisted of gay bars, the excitement soon died down. We went into a nightclub with a stage show, a drag show actually. To our disappointment the dancers were all gay, anorexic and looked about 16. Even BKK wasnt impressed. The pimp was trying to sell the young boys off to us and I actually asked what the boys would do with a group of girls. The pimp's response was "dont worry, you pay money, they do anything, boy or girl". Well, that was interesting. We didnt stay too long cos the pimp kept pushing boys onto our table and we started to get worried.

We certainly have some great memories of this trip. From the Melbourne crew behaving like starved dolphins in the pool and Ribena serving as our master. We lived up to being "bimbos in Thailand"! Another lasting memory were Ball Breaker's tom yum boobs. Dont even get me started on that. Ball Breaker is certainly one of a kind. The only person I know who got blisters all over her feet from wearing thongs. Hello??? Who gets blisters from wearing thongs??? She kept complaining that she wasnt used to wearing flats and had to wear heels towards the end of our trip. What a laugh! We had BKK fly in from Bangkok to spend one night with us crazy people. Cutey was being stalked by our favourite ladyboy Mimi. Honestly she was the most revolting lady boy in Phuket, but Cutey loved her, him, errr....it.

CK Bar

Caught up with WMDM, Ah Sook and SJ last week for drinks at 3 Degrees. Ah Sook really gives me the creeps. He's so sleazy it ain't funny. But hanging out with the oldies has its advantages. Firstly, they are so generous, which is an added bonus for us hard core drinkers. Maybe it's their wealth or maybe they are just very typical chinamen, who always believe that the man should pay for everything. WMDM had asked me about my passion for designer handbags. He wanted to know if I would expect my man, any man for that matter, to buy me handbags. God no! Why the hell would I expect or even let a man buy me luxury items when I can very well afford it myself? Sure, there are some women out there who think their boyfriends or husbands should accomodate their expensive taste by spending insanes amount of money on designer bags, clothes or shoes. But I'm not that kind of woman and neither are my friends (I dont think so anyway). WMDM actually thinks he should be doing this and by doing this, maybe then he can claim ownership over the woman. How very stereo-typical of Chinese men, always thinking that their women are their possession. The more money they lavish on the woman, the greater the share in ownership. SJ and I made it very clear to both oldies that we were certainly not going to succumb to such ancient traditions where the man should take care of the woman. It's certainly nice to be pampered every now and then, but it's not something we expect. And pampering can take many shapes and forms. It doesnt necessarily have to mean expensive gifts.

Siew Yum and November Cleo joined us at 3 Degrees for abit before we headed to Dainty for Szechuan food; the famous chilli chicken place. It is torturous to eat there, but it is so painfully addictive. SJ was dying from the spice and kept referring to herself as having Angelina Jolie lips.

After our delicious dinner, (well I thought it was delicious!) we went into the much talked about CK Bar, next door to Dainty. I had heard so much about this place being the only bar in Melbourne which allows people to indulge in a habit that's been banned at all bars, nightclubs and restaurants. It was great! Unfortunately I didnt get to try the much hyped about CK Bomb and judging from what people have told me, I dont think I really want to. Everyone I know who's tried the CK Bomb has not been able to walk straight after the shot. I'll keep that in mind if and when I need to get smashed in a hurry.

I must admit that I wasnt totally sober when I got to CK Bar, therefore didnt get to have a good look around the place. The service is great and the place kind of reminded me of a Chinese karaoke bar, without the karaoke. Being there with Siew Yum and November Cleo was a disaster and a half. The animals refused to leave. Siew Yum was so pissed and I still dont know what she was celebrating on a Wednesday night. I got home at 2am which was way past my bed time and I swear I will never do this again on a school night. It wasnt pretty at work the next day. I dont know if it's something about CK Bar cos the last time Ball Breaker was there, she didnt leave till 2 am as well. And on a separate occassion when Swing Sister was last there, she certainly didnt make it out of there sober. Or maybe it's just hanging out with Siew Yum and November Cleo. They are very scary!

Barra - KL Tower

My trip overseas started with a one night stop in KL. Ball Breaker and I had the time of our lives. It was our first time travelling together. Something we've wanted to do for the longest time and now we've finally done it. Having said that I did have a peaceful 8 hour flight to KL cos the flight was overbooked and being late to check in, Ball Breaker was upgraded to Business Class! Bitch! I'm just thinking how she would've broken my balls for 8 hours on that flight if she sat next to me! hahahha.....

With no time to rest throughout the day we arrived, Ribena insisted we go to Barra with her that night. My friend MJH opened this new bar/ restaurant in KL Tower recently and I thought I should check it out while I was in KL. The place is cosy with a roof top terrace and it seems to be the only place that opens beyond 4am. Kind of handy for those who just cant be satisfied with partying till 3am and need to keep going till the sun comes up. MJH keeps his bar open after 3am, only to special friends. We didnt get a chance to try the food, so it will be a must next time I'm back in KL. Many of my friends were there, which was great. It was so nice to be able to introduce Ball Breaker to all my old and close friends in KL. Naturally, drinks were on the house and for once Ball Breaker and I didnt go sick. Ribena introduced us to her good friend Tammy. The minute we met her, Ball Breaker and I fell in love with her. She's the funniest and chattiest girl we've ever met, next to us that is. Tammy didnt stop talking the whole time we were in Barra. This girl was modelling her Kate Moss jeans to us all night and insisted Ball Breaker and I get a pair. She even volunteered to put them on hold for us. Man, this is how I got conned into buying a pair of skinny jeans. I must say I quite like my Kate Moss jeans. Ball Breaker loved them so much, she bought 3 pairs!

Even though Ball Breaker and I were exhausted, we still had a great time. Ribena also introduced us to her best friend Sambal. He was hot! Why is he single? And why doesnt Ribena go for it? I later learned why he's just not the one for her. Oh well. Sambal is a great guy though, very similar to someone I know; quiet, grumpy and sensitive.

Finally

Man, it's been awhile since I've visited this site. Been back in Melbourne for almost 4 weeks now and still finding it hard to settle back in to work. Sigh.....I want to go back on holidays! So much has happened and I dont even know where to start. Left Melbourne in mid June and headed to KL to attend Piggy's wedding not before painting the town of Phuket red during her hen's trip. Loads and loads of stories to tell but I've sworn to "what happens in Phuket stays in Phuket". Hah! Right!

After the wedding in KL, I spent over 3 weeks in Europe with Mr S, Swing Sister, BBs, Siew Yum and November Cleo. Now, that's what I call a holiday. As hectic as it was in Europe, it was a lot of fun at the same time. When are we doing this again?

This was the longest holiday I've had in a long, long time and it's no wonder I'm finding it so hard to jump back into routine. Why cant I just win tattslotto tomorrow, then I wont have this problem?

I know many of you are wondering when the hell I was gonna update this blog. I cant even get into the routine of going to work, let alone sit and write about the stuff that's happened almost 2 months ago. But I will get there....eventually. Be patient! The only routine I've gotten back into is the weekly drinking sessions we have here in Melbourne. Atleast I've got my priorities right!

The stories will come along with the photos. So watch this space!