Bimbo In Thailand

For some strange reason, when we embarked on our journey to Phuket for Piggy's hen's trip, the Melbourne crew turned into bimbos. We were dumber than dumb and funnier as a result! TOT and I were the worst. First she walks into the glass door in our hotel room which leads into our private pool. Nice one. Unfortunately it was really one of those "u had to be there" moments. As for me, well, I was just slow and couldnt understand what people were saying. Ball Breaker and TOT always had to repeat what they were saying more than twice before I would actually get it. Not much changed for Cutey. She's always a little slow anyway, be it in Melbourne or Phuket. So for once, we understood what it was like to be Cutey.

The trip was a combination or partying and alcohol; followed by more partying and alcohol. I must say the KL crew had a totally different perspective on what consitutes a hen's trip. They were a lot tamer than our bunch. They were content with just relaxing by the pool and indulging in the resort massage packages all day, everyday. As for us, we were like a bunch of caged animals that that were released in Phuket to run wild. We barely got any sleep. We ate and got massages all day, then headed out to Patong Beach each night to tease all the boys (lady boys I should say). Each night we'd get home and jump straight into our private pool for a dose of skinny dipping. Well, we were on a hen's trip and nothing wrong with 10 girls jumping into the pool without their bikinis at 4am in the morning!

Believe or not, the first bar we walked into in Phuket, was an Aussie bar. We are such losers that we go all the way to Thailand to hang in an Aussie bar. They had the footy on tv and footy posters everywhere. Great to feel at home, except I dont like footy.

During the time we were there, Ribena bumped into a friend who was on a bachelor party trip. Unfortunately, the groom to be was ditched by his fiancee just before the trip and the boys felt that they should make the most of it and go anyway. We did hang out with them a bit. It was sort of good the feeling of being safer in numbers.

The Banana Club was alot of fun. We couldnt believe it when we got there, they actually played all the stuff Kam plays at Lavish. That made it a whole lot more fun. We all took turns to buy Piggy shots and after Banana closed we headed to some techno club called Seduction. By that stage, the type of music blaring from the speakers didnt really bother me anymore. We tried to convince Piggy that whatever happens in Phuket stays in Phuket so she could "enjoy" herself. Not a hot guy in sight, although later on in the night, we found her having an intimate "chat" with a girl outside the club. Sigh. Piggy will always be Piggy. Ball Breaker was having the time of her life dancing on the podium and for a moment Piggy thought she could fly knocking her leg on the edge of the podium. Only when we noticed her leg bleeding, did we realise the severity of the accident. She felt no pain but was tainted because it would not heal in time for her wedding; leaving her with a scar to remind her of how naughty she was in Thailand. Ribena and I had a different reason to get excited over Seduction. We went to the bar and asked if they made Jaeger bombs and to our surprise they did! The only shit thing was, the red bull wasnt chilled and the Jaeger bombs tasted horrible. Atleast we can say we've had a warm Jaeger bomb!

BKK joined us in Phuket on our last night and that night we headed into Patong Beach once again to witness Thailand's famous sex show. I can tell you it was not pretty. Ball Breaker was asking around for shows with men in it; real men. We were then told there actually was a stage show with men. The girls including BKK got really excited! After being lead through dark alleys to an area which mainly consisted of gay bars, the excitement soon died down. We went into a nightclub with a stage show, a drag show actually. To our disappointment the dancers were all gay, anorexic and looked about 16. Even BKK wasnt impressed. The pimp was trying to sell the young boys off to us and I actually asked what the boys would do with a group of girls. The pimp's response was "dont worry, you pay money, they do anything, boy or girl". Well, that was interesting. We didnt stay too long cos the pimp kept pushing boys onto our table and we started to get worried.

We certainly have some great memories of this trip. From the Melbourne crew behaving like starved dolphins in the pool and Ribena serving as our master. We lived up to being "bimbos in Thailand"! Another lasting memory were Ball Breaker's tom yum boobs. Dont even get me started on that. Ball Breaker is certainly one of a kind. The only person I know who got blisters all over her feet from wearing thongs. Hello??? Who gets blisters from wearing thongs??? She kept complaining that she wasnt used to wearing flats and had to wear heels towards the end of our trip. What a laugh! We had BKK fly in from Bangkok to spend one night with us crazy people. Cutey was being stalked by our favourite ladyboy Mimi. Honestly she was the most revolting lady boy in Phuket, but Cutey loved her, him, errr....it.