Mid Week Update

Met up with Ball Breaker last night after work. The decision was to meet up for a coffee at L'incontro, and I mean coffee not Kahlua Lattes just plain lattes. But you know what? We are bad to the bone. Ended up at Cookie Bar once again. Swing Sister came to join us. We were actually quite good. Only had a glass of Sauvignon Blanc each. For some reason, if Princess Model was around, we would've had countless numbers of Lychee Martinis or Caipiroskas! We are bad, so bad. Bumped into Kitty at Cookie. I felt so bad. I always forget to call or email her and because karma always comes to bite me on the ass, we just had to bump into her. Note to myself - NEVER TO FORGET TO EMAIL OR CALL KITTY! Ball Breaker and I were planning on a quick coffee and leave the city by 6.30pm anyway. Good thing was we did stick to the plan. We both left Cookie at 6.45pm. My first step to cutting out drinking during the week. If this was 3 months ago, we would've stayed at Cookie till midnight. I''ve been good. Contrary to what anyone is going to think, this is my aim. To stay good. Well, I can be bad too but that's a different story all together *wink*.

The three of us had a lengthy discussion about geniuses and their eccentricities. I once knew a guy who had an IQ bordering on being a genius. He had gone to uni to do a degree in Applied Maths. Who the hell would want to spend three years studying pure maths? He then went on to do his Masters in Maths. Geez. Anyway, he was more than eccentric. At the time I met him, he was in his mid 30s, still lived at home and liked to dress up as a woman. He was by no means gay or homosexual but just enjoyed wearing make up and dresses. He would parade around the house believing he was a woman. Yes, he was crazy; very highly intelligent but crazy. Swing Sister told us Ball Breaker's views were that of an eccentric person. Lately, Ball Breaker has demonstrated a rather obsessive and eccentric pattern in her behaviour. Is she really a genius in disguise? Arent we priviledged then to be associated with such a being? Ball Breaker is crazy and maybe she is a genius. I know that's what she thinks anyway. Swing Sister is right, once in awhile we need to be humble and accept people around us for who they are not how smart they are. Ball Breaker wants to meet a man who's IQ is equal if not higher than hers. In other words, she's looking for a major, major geek. She should stop bar hopping and start combing through the libraries in Melbourne. Better chance there. And believe me, you aint gonna find that man at Lavish! You'll be lucky to find a man amongst the kids at Lavish.

Turned out to be a good night of intellectual conversation. A far cry from all the night outs we've had where we girls just get together and talk about boys, boys and boys. I read in the papers today that women speak an average of 20,000 words per day and men utter a mere 7000 words per day. Gee, we women do talk alot! And I know one woman who probably utters more than 100,000 words per day. Women also speak more quickly, devote more brainpower to chit-chat and get a buzz out of hearing their own voices. So, it's proven that women can talk some men to death or close to it. So, if a couple have an argument, is this why women always want to talk about it and men just want to shut out the rest of the world and ignore us?

The week ahead will be full of activities and parties. Tomorrow night, we are all invited to TOT's 21st birthday dinner at Korean Seoul Restaurant. Then on Friday, she's having her party at Lavish. Another 21st birthday party! Today is her birthday and I just spoke to her. Cutey and TOT just checked into Novotel St Kilda. A night of wild sex to follow, I'm sure. Plastic's brother is having his birthday party at Lavish this Friday as well, which means Plastic will be there with the girlfriend. Princess Model should be here *tsk tsk tsk*. I also have my office Xmas party on Friday night at The Kitten Club. I hope I dont get too wasted. Yeah right! Spoke to Yen today and she's invited me to go to the opening of Barcode (yeah another opening) in Chapel Street. But the event is also on Friday night. Gawd. Too many places to be. Gonna have to miss out on the opening. Yen will catch up with the rest of us at Lavish, so she tells me. KC is having a bbq on Saturday, which will hopefully be good. I've invited Yen and Mills along to the bbq. Hope KC doesnt mind. We'll be busy playing gin rummy anyway. Yippeee.... If November Cleo was here, KC would have to worry about her eating all the food. But she's still overseas, so the food's safe.

Had dinner with VB last night and he told me he had dinner with Korean J the night before and he met her mother. What the? VB says they're just good friends. She just landed herself a new job with Film Victoria (or something like that). She's responsible for the legislations of film productions that come into the country. Interesting. VB also said Korean J studied law at uni, that's why she's working in legislation. Now, that I didnt know. Korean J also writes for a Korean magazine in Melbourne and is apparently doing a feature story on VB. Cant wait to get my hands on that piece.

VB also mentioned that he saw Audi at Lavish last week.

VB: Did you know Audi is married with kids and all?

Me: Yes, he's married but no kids

VB: Then why does he hang out at Lavish?

Me: OMG, he's only been there like twice.

VB: He told me he likes Asian girls.

Me: Really? So?

VB: He shouldnt really be partying if he's married.

Me: What? Are married people not allowed to party?

VB: He looks kinda sleazy.

Me: I dont think so. Why? Did he sleaze on you? Hahahahah

So, why cant married people party? I know so many people who are married with kids and still go out alot. Do people have this pre-conceived perception of others who party alot? If I'm married I should start behaving like a nun? Please.

Drama, Drama, Drama

Got a call from DJ yesterday. He rang to tell me about ONF at Blvd on the weekend. Well, I already knew about that. News does travel fast. DJ was a little surprised I didnt show up to Lavish or Blvd on the weekend. Geez, is it that big a deal when I dont party one weekend? Said he wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend. Oh really? Why? He's looking forward to his back packing trip around South America, Peru specifically. I told him I would take care of his girlfriend while he's away, but he said he didnt trust me. What does he think I'm gonna do to her? Eat her up? There's a kinky thought. Some people.

Audi emailed me to apologise for the countless sms-es on Friday night. He's one crazy fella. He told me he had fun at Lavish and hung out with VB, Mr & Mrs S. Also heard from Princess Model that Shaolin was at Lavish. Apparently he had to take a client there. That's the story I heard anyway.

Received an email from Princess Model with an urgent flag. She had received an email from Shaolin and urgently needed to respond to it. His email was rather poetic; detailing his feelings, more for himself than for her. A rather long email just to tell someone you're interested in a casual yet friendly f**k. Why he felt the need to explain himself, we will never know. Princess Model was rather offended with his creative piece. She didnt know what to make of it. She felt like he had just dumped her. But how can one be dumped when they are not even together? I actually quite liked Shaolin. I think he's a nice guy, sociable and easy to get along with. Maybe his email was an indication that he's afraid to commit and that he was just protecting himself, or maybe he's just a loser. I think Princess Model would agree with the latter. Ball Breaker has her own views on this. She thinks Shaolin is sensitive and thoughtful. His email was just his way of getting things off his chest. I disagree. Ultimately, it's up to Princess Model to decide. After all, the rest of us are just part of her support team.

Mrs S and Ball Breaker met up for coffee yesterday at Three Degrees. Of all people, they had to run into WMDM and Ah Sook. I guess WMDM isnt too bad. After all, he invested $500 into the Princess Model Foundation. He's our biggest investor yet. WMDM will be off to KL this week and I'm sure he will be hooking up with Princess Model. Whether she likes it or not, she's gonna have to entertain him.

Sent Plastic an email today telling him that I would not be attending his girlfriend's surprise birthday bash. He was understandably a little ticked off as none of "my crew" are going to his party. He pretty much replied my email instantly to ask if there was another party going on that perhaps everyone was going to. Well, there isnt really but I guess everybody has something better to do this Sunday, myself included. I'm afraid he brought this upon himself. Best wishes to the girlfriend and I hope she has a wonderful surprise on her birthday.

Quiet Weekend

Saturday night I missed out on a 21st birthday party. Wow! Cant believe we still get invited to 21st parties. Well, only because it was Mrs S's little sister. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to bail out on my friends. Sorry guys. I had to babysit. The dinner was at Mecca Restaurant in Southbank. From what I heard, the food wasnt that great. Mr S was kind enough to keep the tax invoice for me. He's a good man. The party went on to Blvd. I wasnt really in the mood for Blvd anyway, so I guess I didnt really miss out on much. Well, I did miss out on a good show actually. I heard that ONF was there with DJ. Ball Breaker told me ONF was so cool, like James Bond cool. Pfftttt....! VB was also there with B. Ball Breaker thinks B is fat. I dont recall her being fat, maybe a little chubby but definitely not fat. According to Ball Breaker, she had stretch marks on her boobs! And Mr S verified this. Why was he looking there in the first place?

Met up with Ball Breaker for coffee on Sunday. Yes, we have sworn off alcohol. Let's see how long this will last! We got to talk about life changing experiences and funny how sometimes when things are going so well and in a blink of an eye it can turn real nasty. Everyone must have one these experiences, whether it may be love, career, friendships, financial status, whatever. I'm convinced everyone has been through this. But we gotta always look on the bright side. Things happen for a reason and more often than not, it is always a blessing in disguise. You may not recognise it as a blessing but in time to come, you wil realise that maybe it could've been worse. I've had some nasty relationships in the past and in that time, I thought I was living through hell on earth. But in hindsight, if I hadnt been through those traumatic times, I probably wouldnt have become the person I am today. Maybe I should send my ex-boyfriends a thank you note.

Princess Model must be having the time of her life. Keep the sms-es and emails coming. Love to hear what you're up to in good ol' KL. I so wish I was there. Imagine Ball Breaker, Princess Model, Mrs S and myself in KL. OMG. We will certainly be painting the town red and driving everyone crazy! The four of us should never go on holidays all together. Atleast Mrs S and I are the tamest ones. The other two are lunatics. If Ball Breaker and Princess Model go away together, Mrs S and I will stay here to save up for their bail money. God knows what sort of trouble they will get themselves into!!

Dont be deceived by their innocent smiles.....

Not Another Farewell

Princess Model had another farewell last night. Why must one have so many farewells just to be gone for four weeks? Any excuse to drink I guess. We met up at Lanai Bar. Swanky new bar/ club on the corner of Queen and Little Collins St., NOT Collins, Little Collins *wink*. It was awesome. They played a good mix of 80s and R & B tunes. This is gonna be my new favourite hangout! The beer garden is nice, as big as the actual dancefloor. Finally, a decent sized space for smokers to hang out. Cutey is thinking of moving one of her nights to this club. Good idea! Mr & Mrs S brought along B, to match make with VB. They got along well. We'll see if this progresses into anything more.

After drinks, Ball Breaker and I took Princess Model to the airport. Her flight was at 12.45am and we got to the airport at 11.30pm. Princess Model was so worried she would miss her flight! When we got to the airport, we realised none of us had any money for the trolley machine and Princess Model had like three suitcases. Mind you, she's only going for four weeks! Plus, she's going home, I'm sure she'll have all the necessities there. Princess Model and I went up to some guy in a BMW and asked him if he could spare us some change. He was a real gentleman and offered us some coins. He wasnt bad looking either! Wonder what he was thinking. Three drunk lunatics at the airport struggling with three suitcases and laughing uncontrollably. What a sight. In the end we didnt need the small change anyway. Ball Breaker had gone into the airport and found an unattended trolley. She probably stole it off someone anyway!

Audi was sms-ing me all night. He was dying to go out. I was really stuffed after the wine at Lanai and going to the airport. All I wanted to do after all that was have a nice shower and go to bed. How unusual for a Friday night. HYC sms-ed me as well. It was nice to hear from him. He doesnt come out with us much anymore. I will make it a point from now on to let him know what we all do on the weekends. HYC and I go back a long way. Have been friends for more than 10 years. I guess he's just mellowed down in the last 12 months or so. Why? does he have a girlfriend we dont know about?

Mr and Mrs S, B and VB went to Eve after Lanai. Their last stop for the evening was Lavish (but ofcourse). I would've loved to have gone to Lavish with Audi but just couldnt be bothered. Ball Breaker went straight home after the airport as well. She should've gone to Lavish. Would've been a better weekend. This is what happens when Ball Breaker and I break our weekly pattern. It should never have been. Audi, we should've taken up your offer to go. Oh well, there's always this weekend. I will be out and about with my work Xmas party and all. God help me.

True Friends

This week has been such a busy week, in and out of meetings. I didnt even have time to blog! Had dinner at Cutey's on Wednesday night. She made beef rendang! Yummy. Unfortunately, I'm not a big fan of beef or rendang. But it tasted quite close to the real thing. It was nice to just chill out at her place and not have to meet up for drinks in the city. Sometimes that can be a real pain. Have to park the car, then have to walk to the bar, too noisy to chat and we always end up consuming way too much alcohol! Chilling at home was relaxing. We still had alcohol though, just not to the extreme. Couple of bottles of white went well with the dinner. I think Princess Model, Ball Breaker and I finished two bottles before dinner even started.

Early on in the week, I spoke to Rene via Gtalk. Rene is Plastic's ex girlfriend. Funny how I get along with so many of Plastic's exes. Rene is now in Hong Kong. She got married recently here in Australia and because hubby got a job in Hong Kong, she's upped and moved over there as well. By the sounds of it, she hasnt quite settled in to the lifestyle. Maybe because she's not working and just sitting at home all day. I'm sure she's missing all her friends and family here as well. Now that she's not working, maybe she should start planning a baby? Atleast that will keep her busy! Hah! I didnt even know she was married until she told me this week. Rene had a small and tasteful wedding on Fraser Island. She didnt want the typical, traditional and glamorous Chinese wedding. I dont blame her. Personally, I'd like to elope somewhere. It's been such a long time since I've seen Rene. I really liked her. She was a nice girl. All the best to her and her hubby in Hong Kong. I hope to visit her there in the near future. By then, she should know all the good places to eat and shop!

Got an email from The Nurse in UK. She told me about her endless itinerary around Europe. Bitch! She made my day. NOT! I'm glad she's having a great time over there. I wish I was there with her, working hard and playing hard at the same time. She did get upset at me for using her photo in one of my entries. Sorry chick! You were just too hot in the police outfit! Keep sending photos and keep making me envious of your worldly escapades. So many men, so little time huh?

On Wednesday night, Piggy rang me from KL. She's coming to Melbourne! Woohoo. I cant wait. She will be down after Xmas for two weeks. I'll have to organise her a ticket to the Summadayze rave. She's still in the midst of planning the big event. She better give me a date asap, so I can plan my annual leave. I really miss Piggy. I wish she would move back to Melbourne and join the rest of the crew here. The days when we use to work, party and play together almost seems like just yesterday. It was such a blast then. In a blink of an eye, everyone has moved on to the next phase of their lives - marriage. I would've never thought Bob would be capable of getting married. Funny, the way things turn out.

I'm blessed to have so many friends, and so many true friends. I would not be able to live without the lot of you. Even though I dont see many of you as often as I'd like to (and some I see too often!), know that you are still in my thoughts. That's why you guys get so much junk mail from me!

Mid Week Piss Up

Caught up with Cutey and TOT on Sunday. Cutey told me about the bitch fight at Blvd on the weekend. The one Ball Breaker, Princess Model and I witnessed, but couldnt get photos. The girl that got slapped/ punched was a Blvd bottle girl and yes, the fight was over a guy. I knew it! We should've hung around longer to get some good photos. Damn!

Finally a Sunday without a big dinner. Cutey and TOT had to go to Cutey's sister's for dinner and I was just too lazy to drive all the way to Rowville. So, I went home instead and had a small healthy dinner.

Last night we had dinner at Princess Model's. She made dinner for me, Mrs S and Ball Breaker. It was delicious. Some kind of Asian Italian creation. I'm still dreaming about it. She promised to make more so Ball Breaker and I could have it for lunch today but in our drunken state, everyone forgot about the second tray of food. Bloody hell! Could've eaten it for lunch today. We managed to finish two bottles of white wine and two and a half bottles of Choya. We are such alcoholics! Finally, the four of us get to enjoy some time with each other. Every time we try to organise an exclusive dinner for just the four of us, it almost always turns into some sort of disaster. The boys always want to be part of it. For once, cant the boys just do their own thing? It was a very good evening, kicking back with wine glasses in our hands, great food, great company and to top it of, Sex and The City Season 6 playing in the background! I wish we could do this more often. The plan is to have these girlie get-togethers on a Friday night so we dont have to worry about getting home early. Then we can get smashed and walk over to Lavish from Princess Model's apartment. We were all acting silly last night. Spent most of the night sitting outside on the balcony. It was a very warm night although it was quite windy. Mrs S started to get worried about the wind and thought the crane across the road was going to fall and hit her on the head! Princess Model started seeing things. She kept pointing out to planes in the sky thinking they were UFOs. See what alcohol does to people? But then again, both Princess Model and Mrs S have the potential to behave this way even when they're sober.

We all had a great night, apart from Mrs S being stressed out all night and causing Ball Breaker to get involved in her dramas. The drama was well handled. Sometimes men just cant help behaving like women. I for one, do not want to get involved.

Cutey had organised one of her nights last night at QBH and just heard from her that it was a success. Unfortunately, it was held on a Tuesday night or else, we would've all gone to support her. Cutey told me Mr S was there with two of his friends. Mrs S must've stayed home after dinner at Princess Model's. Hmmm......

We also spent a good half of the night going through one of my blog entries "Hornyscopes". Yes, the girls believe most of it was very true and accurate apart from the Aquarius male. We looked up everyone we knew and had such a good laugh about it.

Spoke to Princess Model earlier and she told me she had yet another dream about The Cock last night! Oh no. She dreamt that she was with the Big One and Shaolin. In her dream, she appeared to be intimate with the Big One infront of Shaolin which made him upset. As a result, it made Princess Model upset as well, so she stormed out of this room into the hands of The Cock. So, I've dramatised it a little bit but this was pretty much what she told me. Now, my analysis is that, in recent weeks Princess Model has felt like she's a failure when it comes to men and she is hoping for The Cock to come to her rescue. My other analysis is Princess Model is actually in the closet about The Cock. Well, maybe she wants to get in the closet with The Cock. Who knows? Anyone who'd like to shed some light on this issue, please do so!

Princess Model's Farewell

Last night I met up with Princess Model, Mrs S and Ball Breaker for dinner at Via Veneto. Cutey rang me when I was on the way and said she wanted to join us. There goes our exclusive girlie dinner! Cutey came with TOT and The Hairdresser. Another professional to give Ball Breaker advice on her apparent green hair. He seemed to think her hair had a green tinge to it. I think he was just amusing her. It’s not true. He just wants you to go to his salon so he can fix you up, in every imaginable way. Yes, he wants to f**k you too. Princess Model told us she’d been having dreams about The Cock. How interesting. Has she been fantasizing about him? Or has he just been appearing in her dreams and disrupting her sleep? We decided that I would sms him to see if he will come to Madame Brussels tonight. The Cock has never really come out with me or the rest of us before. Sure we all hang out when we are at a bbq but I’ve never really asked him to come out with us. So, I wasn’t expecting him to show up. To my surprise, he replied to my sms by saying he would be there in an hour. Hmmm….eager.

By the time we got to Madame Brussels, it was already packed and we couldn’t get a table. It’s a very nice bar. When you walk in, the place is laid out with fake grass and people sit on the floor. It kinda looks like a park with tables and benches. Then out on the roof is a sort of beer garden, roof top terrace. Last night was a nice night too, warm and balmy. We had to share a table with these two girls. At some point we knew our loudness and craziness would make them leave. And leave they did! Madame Brussels specializes in serving cocktails by the jug. Woo hoo! What a great idea. But I have a strange suspicion that the cocktails were very, very watered down. I did not feel the effects of the alcohol at all and we must’ve ordered atleast a dozen jugs for the table. Mrs S and I kept dashing to the loo every 10 minutes. The drinks were going in and straight out! Kitty, Mahogany, Mr S, TQ, The Cock, Sash, V, FF and D joined us at Madame Brussels. We were all discussing the Princess Model Summadayze Foundation. I was chosen to organise the funds for this charitable event. Everyone has pledged to invest atleast $100 towards this foundation, even TQ. Now why wouldn’t he anyway? The Cock had promised Princess Model that if he goes to Crown Casino and makes money, she can have half the winnings. I’m sure she’s crossing her fingers for this.

The conversation lead on to the “Journey of My Breasts”. Well, not the journey of my breasts in particular but the journey of Ball Breaker’s breasts. I’m glad she wanted the world to know she skipped the training bras during puberty and went straight to a B cup bra. Wow. It’s amazing she didn’t go straight to a D cup. The photo says it all.

Ah Sook, Fegg and The Auntie showed up an hour late. We had been waiting for them so we could move on to Blvd. I was hoping to be smashed by the time we got there. No such luck. Got to Blvd and it was terribly packed. The door bitch at Blvd was a real bitch. She obviously had no idea who she was dealing with. She was giving us a hard time at the door, telling us we were in the wrong queue. If we’re on the free list we have to line up in a different line. What the f**k? Well, I guess she was hired to be the door bitch because she’s a bitch! Either that or she really doesnt like Princess Model. Yes, apparently there is history there. We got in eventually when a more familiar door bitch came to greet us. She’s such a sweetie, too sweet to be labeled door bitch. WMDM came to join us at Blvd. What a surprise. He doesn’t normally like clubs but these men; they’d do anything for Princess Model. He was good fun too, having had a few drinks and enjoying the sounds of the 80s music. Fegg and The Auntie kept disappearing upstairs alone. Something is going down with those two. Mahogany caught them holding hands, I caught them talking intimately and Ball Breaker caught The Auntie with her hand on Fegg’s lap. Princess Model asked WMDM if he knew about what was going on with them. WMDM said “don’t worry, they’re not even related by blood”. Gross! The mere fact that they are related is enough to make me sick!

TQ had left Madame Brussels early to meet up with KC and the Korean boys. TQ promised me he would return to meet up with us at Blvd. I wasn’t sure this would happen. But he did prove me wrong and came back to Blvd at 2am! He came with seven other people and Cutey had shut the doors to the club because it was packed. I begged her to let them in and she said they would have to pay to get in. She charged eight of them $100 to get in. Lucky they were too smashed to realise this and paid anyway! After everyone else, Ball Breaker, Princess Model and I spent the rest of the night upstairs in the R & B room with TQ and the Korean boys. They had shown up to Blvd with three Kimonos, yes three girls dressed in Kimonos ;-) I had offered to drive KC home cos he looked way too smashed to be behind the wheel. He was happy for me to do that initially. But in the end he jumped behind the wheel anyway. Oh well. I did offer to drive.

As we were driving out of Crown Casino, we witnessed a bitch fight. It started off with an argument between two girls, and then it turned into a full blown punch on! One girl was on the floor. I tried to take a photo but it didn’t turn out bright enough. These kids... They looked like they were fighting over a guy. As a matter of fact, I remember seeing a couple of guys with these girls and they didn’t even jump in to stop the fight?

The party moved on to KC’s house. Ball Breaker, Princess Model and I didn’t go. TQ wanted us to go. I wonder why? The three Kimonos obviously went cos they jumped straight into KC’s car after Blvd. Good for them.

Green Hair

This is green hair!

Was up early this morning to pick Ball Breaker up from the airport. She has come back with a "tan". She is no longer white, she is now off white! How funny. Tried to wake Mrs S up for breakfast (as planned last night with Princess Model) but she was still asleep I guess cos she didnt answer her phone. Princess Model had sms-ed Ball Breaker at 5.30am (all eager and enthusiastic) telling her she was dressed and ready to go for breakfast! When we called her at 8am, she was half asleep when she answered the phone. Needless to say, none of us ended up going for breakfast. Ball Breaker and I had coffee in a local cafe in Brunswick instead. She has not stopped complaining about her disastrous hair since she got off the plane. Apparently the chlorine in the pool in one of the hotels, had turned her hair green. It looked a little dull this morning, but certainly not green. Ball Breaker had made an impulsive last minute decision to let someone in the Phillipines try to fix her hair. I guess she felt they made it worse. We then went to a local chemist to find a rinse for her hair. Rang The Cock to ask him for his professional advise. He said to use Selsun Blue No. 5 to wash the hair. This should help take the green out. Ball Breaker was not convinced, so she ended up buying a copper coloured rinse instead. Made a mad dash back to my house - the make shift hair salon. Put the colour through her hair and after all that, she still thought her hair was green. It looked more like a dark ash brown to me. She must be colour blind! How can she leave the house tonight?

The Babysitter

The DJ and Audi came to visit me at work yesterday. What a surprise. Cutey and TOT came to meet me at work for coffee on Tuesday and now another two friends. I was popular this week! Ended up going to Williamstown for a few drinks at Iceberg Bar. After a few glasses of wine, DJ had to go on a dinner date and left me with Audi. Great! I had to babysit this guy for atleast 3 hours and I had wanted to be home by 7pm. DJ asked me to stay with him until after dinner because he couldnt bring Audi along on his date. He promised that after dinner, I could return Audi to him. Nice. Didnt really want to have dinner with Audi alone so we went to Cookie to meet up with Princess Model, VB, Mr and Mrs S. Thank God Princess Model rang me to tell me they were all at Cookie. VB was slightly surprised to see me walk in with Audi. I dont think he remembered Audi from the opening of Barcode. Good. Let him wonder why I'm hanging out with this white boy. VB had a plane to catch to Sydney at 8pm but was still at Cookie till way past 7pm. Must be spewing he had to go to Sydney this weekend and miss out on Princess Model's farewell.

Mr and Mrs S had organised tickets for everyone to go to Summadayze on New Year's Day. I went last year and did have a good time so what the hell. Ball Breaker is coming as well. Hopefully it wont rain this time. Princess Model, the disaster, is leaving for Malaysia next week for 3 months and has made the executive decision to come back on Xmas Day for 10 days just so she can attend Summadayze! Oh My God! Almost everyone is going to be part of this investment process. We have to raise money for poor Princess Model so she can get another return ticket to come back. Princess Model, you're one in a million. Looney! Dont worry, I wil be investing in this good cause :)

A couple more drinks at Cookie and we all went for dinner at Izakaya Chuji. DJ was supposed to meet us at 8pm but we didnt hear from him till nearly 10pm. He owes me big time for this. Not that Audi wasnt good fun. He's a nice guy but I've only met him twice and he's not part of the click just yet. I think he felt the akwardness too. He asked me if DJ "dumps strangers" on me all the time. I felt bad and didnt know what to say. It wasnt that bad. Audi was sociable and it all went well. After dinner, we went to Barcode to meet up with DJ. Jaq was there along with the rest of the lesbians. Not a bad bar with amusement games and pool tables. The location is a shame. Horrible part of the city. Barcode is sandwiched in between an endless number of strip bars on King St. You can imagine the crowd along this street. Finally, my babysitting duties had come to an end and I could go home! DJ, Audi, ONF, Jaq and the Lesbians went on to Lavish. I had no energy for it and couldnt be bothered anyway. Mr and Mrs S were tired too. Didnt even drink at Barcode. Stayed for about half an hour, then we went home. Had to rejuvenate for a big night tonight.

Alcohol Free

It's Thursday and I havent had a drink since Monday. What an achievement! Now that Ball Breaker isnt around for the week, I have stuck to my original plan of not going out until Saturday night. Princess Model has been asking me to join her for drinks, always using the excuse of this being her last week in Melbourne. Sweetie, you are coming back you know. We will party hard on Saturday night when Ball Breaker is back. The bitch is busy sun baking in Thailand and Phillipines. What a life! Dont get me wrong, she does work very, very hard and her being away gives me a chance to stay home for a change. It's a luxury I miss.

I have a cocktail party to attend tonight all the way in Glen Waverley for the grand opening of Just Loans. Dont think I will be making the effort to hike over there. Not even for the free cocktails. It's too damn cold to leave the house. For some strange reason, we are two weeks away from Summer and all of sudden it's started to snow all around Australia. We've had more snow in the last two days then we did at the start of the ski season. How f**ked up is that? It's been hailing alot too. Thank God it hasnt been the size of golf balls this season, just tiny hail stones.

Tomorrow night I'm supposed to attend an Airline Industry Party at The Sanctuary Bar; an event organised by ICE Global. Cant be f**ked. Sounds like a fun party with a uniform theme and all. I'm sure the rest of the crew will be going. They can share their stories with me on Saturday. I'm all partied out. Ever since I started hanging out with Princess Model, I havent stopped partying! Not a bad thing, but cant be good either. I need to go on a detox program after she leaves!

Cant wait till Saturday, dinner with three of my closest friends here in Melbourne. It will be an all girl affair, no boys! Just hope we dont get too smashed at dinner and forget to go down to Madame Brussels for Princess Model's farewell drinks. I've taken the liberty of organising this farewell event for Princess Model. All the important people have been invited. Princess Model even invited WMDM and Fegg. I hope they dont bring Ah Sook. It will be an interesting night. Too bad VB will be missing out because he's away in Sydney. Cutey and TOT have been hassling me to ensure the group adjourns to Blvd on Saturday. We'll see what happens. After a few drinks, I dont think anyone will oppose the idea of Blvd, apart from Princess Model. We want to take Shaolin to Blvd! I think he will enjoy it.

Hornyscopes

A friend sent this to me today. Thought I should share it with all you boys and girls out there so you can find your perfect mate :-) Some are so true, so true. And some are just full of crap. Atleast my best sex toy are handcuffs! *wink*

AQUARIUS

Jan 21 - Feb 19
Ruling Planet: URANUS. The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns

Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship, it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns Aquarius on. They are very entertaining in bed and are probably the most inventive of all the signs. Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot! Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. They are very particular about hygiene and contraception and sleeping around holds little interest for them.

FAVE POSITION
Mutual masturbation.

BEST SEX TOY
A Dildo. Whether gay, straight, male or female, Aquarians will have some fun with this.

AQUARIUS MALE IN BED
He has amazing staying power in the sack. He can keep at it and control himself for as long as it takes for YOU to finish! He's up for anything too. Role playing, S&M, posing nude in the backyard at 5am! he's just not into 3somes, swinging or open relationships if YOU are involved. He'll do that for fun, but not with the love of his life.

AQUARIUS FEMALE IN BED
She's looking for a lover who will be upfront with her, but until she finds him, she will make do with whoever is available. LOVE freaks her out. She likes keeping her emotions under tight control and may come across as cold, but she's just protecting herself.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON AQUARIUS
Lie down as if you are top and tailing and gently tickle and stroke the ankles and the calves. Don't tickle for giggles, but tease. After awhile, do the same with your tongue. Lick up, down and all around. Anywhere above the foot and below the knee is fair game. Lightly nip the ankle of your Aquarian, they may laugh, but it's not laughter from tickles, it's a release of tension that will most definitely lead to some action!


PISCES

Feb 20 - March 20
Ruling Planet: NEPTUNE
The God in charge of delicious dreams, dangerous deceptions and sexual fantasies

Sexually speaking, Pisces is putty in your hands. Anything you want, anything, is only a question away. If you're looking for someone who will go the extra mile to discover all your secret moan zones, then Pisces is for you! When a typical Piscean makes out, it's an act of romance rather than pure pleasure. Pisces is the sign of love itself. They are so romantic and want satin sheets and candles, poetry and a full moon. Music also gets them in the mood. One of their least appetizing traits is their ability to become very, very jealous. Sometimes they are so scared of losing the fairy-tale romance that they ruin the happy! ending themselves.

FAVE POSITION
Pisces is all about Oral affections!

BEST SEX TOY
A copy of the Kama Sutra, since your fish is into almost anything

PISCES MALE IN BED
He is romantic and has the reputation of being a womanizer. The girlfriend of a Piscean man should keep her eye on the ball as he can be a bit flighty. But he does make an excellent lover. He's from the old school that sex should be an almost out of body experience, and if he's showering his attentions on you, you're in for a hell of a good ride!

PISCES FEMALE IN BED
She needs romance. It's the very air that she breathes. She needs to be held gently and whispered sweet nothings to but when it comes to between the sheets action, she's never happy doing the same ol', same ol' when she knows there are more exciting options at hand.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON PISCES
The Pisces Zesty-zone is their feet! If you want to make Pisces your Love Slave, start with a warm, scented footbath and soak their feet for 10 minutes. Then sit in front of them, cross-legged, and rub their feet firmly through the water. Use kneading motions that run from their ankles to the tips of their toes. After 5 minutes, get a scrub brush and clean their tootsies with lots of TLC, dry them off and lightly massage peppermint oil all over their feet, paying close attention to between their toes. Pisces REALLY gets off on this! Once oiled up, gently kiss each toe, one by one. Then let your tongue take over and you're in baby!!!


ARIES

March 21-April 20
Ruling Planet: MARS
The bonk now/think later God of War, aggression and action!

Sexually, Aries is an explosion waiting to happen! The excitement is often in the chase more than the actual conquest though and while they may appear to want to dominate, they do not want a submissive partner. Routine brings boredom to sex for Aries, so if you're only comfortable with the missionary position, go for another sign, but if you like forceful personalities and enjoy pretending you're a human Twistie, then you've found paradise with an Aries.

FAVE POSITION
Always on top and always in charge

BEST SEX TOY
Handcuffs! Like I said, Aries likes to take charge!

ARIES MALE IN BED
The Aries male is loud, domineering and 100% stud! He's from the bump n grind school of lovemaking so if you're looking for romantic dinners by candlelight and long walks on the beach, keep looking! He's the original 5-minute man so if you're turned on by ultra-macho grunt-and-groaning types, you've just found your ticket to heaven! He's not prone to cheat unless you bore him in bed and he likes sex fast and furious baby!

ARIES FEMALE IN BED
She views sex as more of a physical act than something from a soppy romance novel. If you're a bored exec and want to find out what it's like to be treated like a piece of meat, then go for a one night stand with an Aries chick. She'll be gone before you wake up and may not remember your name the next time you meet. She's got a touch of KINK to her personality so don't get freaked out when she talks dirty or puts you over her knee for a spanking. She's all woman, but are you man enough to handle her?

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON ARIES
If you want to seduce an Aries, running your fingers through their hair is an awesome starting point! And licking and nibbling around their face or neck will get them going ! too! Just be careful to keep your saliva at bay. Drool is not cool!


TAURUS

April 21 - May 21
Ruling Planet: VENUS
The Goddess in charge of love, beauty and sex

Taureans are ahead of the game when it comes to love coz they are ruled by VENUS, the planet of Love! Taurus has all the qualities a lover desires, including sensuality, loyalty and faithfulness. When a typical Taurus makes love, it's the most physical and natural pleasure in the world. They believe the romantic approach to sex almost always pays off so they will happily cook dinner, buy flowers, and light candles for someone they wanna bang. They don't like to rush things and take everything, including sex, slowly.

FAVE POSITION
The one Taurus enjoys most is the Missionary. Some may say this is so unadventurous, but Taurus is very practical and this is the most comfortable.

BEST SEX TOY
A battery powered "erotic massager"

TAURUS MALE IN BED
The Taurean man needs a woman who will want to stay home to eat and make love. He can be stubborn and is known to sulk like a little boy, but he LOVES making up!! (Rrrrow!) He likes to take things slow and gently and can last for hours, always waiting for HER to finish before rolling over to sleep.

TAURUS FEMALE IN BED
She is great at back massages and sex in general. She makes an art of lovemaking. Just kissing her can bring some men to the big "O". Her touch is gentle and tender, it excites and caresses and when in the mood, she too can go for hours at a time, days on end.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON TAURUS
There's nothing Taurus enjoys more than having their neck kissed and their earlobes nibbled. Light, feathery caresses up and down the neck followed by gentle licks, no biting, will make a female writhe with delight and a male stand at attention within seconds.


GEMINI

May 22 - June 21
Ruling Planet: MERCURY
The swiftest God in the skies, who also happens to be in charge of ultra-extreme raunchy talk

Talking about sex is Gemini's favourite hobby and doing it comes a close second. Gemini's love flirting and lap up attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes that's all they're looking for. They need a lot of variety when it comes to sex - dirty weekends away, a quickie in a shop doorway, serious groping under the table at a fancy restaurant. A lot of Gemini's are bisexual too and can often be drawn to those of the same sex.

FAVE POSITION
As long as it's different every time, they're not fussy, but if they must choose, it's that naughty number right after 68, since they can come up for air if they need to.

BEST SEX TOY
Any illustrated book about kinky sex, so Gemini can pick up some wild, new ideas

GEMINI MALE IN BED
He likes to give AND receive and can be quite inventive. He's a lights on, in front of the mirror kinda guy and if you make a few subtle noises and talk a wee bit dirty, he'll be very happy.

GEMINI FEMALE IN BED
She is more interested in IQ than private parts. If she can't respect the intellect, then satisfaction is not possible for her. She may sleep around forever and never find her true love and she is not the most faithful of the signs. She likes sex on the run, in an airplane toilet, in the storeroom at work, in the backseat of a car.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON GEMINI
Focus on the shoulders, arms and legs of a Gemini and you're headed for the good books. They love a good massage and their hands are so sensitive that even having their fingernails played with sends shivers up their spine! Kiss up and down each of your Gemini's arms, sneak in a few licks, nips and nibbles. If you get one or two yelps, then you know you're doing something right. Then, move onto the fingers, slowly kiss, lick, nip and nibble each fingertip, then pull out the killer move - suck on each finger, slowly, as if it's a lollipop. I'll almost offer a money back guarantee on this one working!


CANCER

June 22 - July 23
Ruling Planet: THE MOON
Which isn't a planet at all but the satellite responsible for this water sign's many mood swings!

Love and sex go together for Cancer. They need to feel secure in love before they can relax in sex and Cancer often feels a little bit guilty after doing the deed because they usually associate sex with babies, especially the women, who either get pregnant at the drop of a hat or take longer than usual. All Cancers WANT to be parents! Cancers become sexually excited when they feel secure. They are turned on by home cooked meals and partners who love kids. In so many ways, Cancer is the dream partner!

FAVE POSITION
Any position that's comfortable and involves Cancer lying flat on their back with all their sensitive areas exposed!

BEST SEX TOY
A drink or joint that will relax the overly-cautious crab!

CANCER MALE IN BED
He is a sensitive lover and will put his partner's needs before his own. He has a tenderness about him that drives women wild! If the Cancer guy decides he's in it for the long haul, he'll do whatever it takes to keep his lover happy in and out of the bedroom. Oh, and he's a BREAST man!!

CANCER FEMALE IN BED
She oozes sexiness and is born to mate!! Compliments and kissing will win her over, so as you're nibbling on her ear, whisper "you're so beautiful" to get her quivering. Perhaps the Vincent (Big Brother) growl would work on a Cancer woman?

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CANCER
Concentrate on the breasts and pecs of Cancer to really get them going. Start by kissing and brushing up against them. Licking the Cancer female's nipple through her top will excite her, but don't 'dive right in' coz you're likely to scare her. It's the complete opposite for the Cancer male who will LOVE it if you get straight to the point. Squeeze his pecs and bite his bod and you'll have him bouncing off the walls in no time!


LEO

July 24 - August 23
Ruling Planet: THE SUN
Which isn't a planet at all, but a star, and just like Leo's opinion of themselves, it's the centre of our solar system!

Leos can be very 'into themselves' when they bonk. It's not that they don't make their partner feel special, it's just that they often forget about them as they secretly high-five themselves for scoring again! Leo does actually want more from a partner than just sex though. Leo wants love and friendship too. They can be very romantic, but when they get into bed, it's not an experience they're about to have, it's a show! They like to perform ... and they take requests! "Doing it" is the ultimate stress buster for Leo and they are pretty damn good at it, but they need constant praise for their outstanding performance.

FAVE POSITION
Receiving 'oral affections', since Leo is all about getting serviced!

BEST SEX TOY
A camera, or a game of Strip Poker will get the cat purring or perhaps you can use them both together!

LEO MALE IN BED
You are the King of the Jungle and expect to be treated that way! You are a good lover because you don't like to fail at anything. You are sexy and have an aura of sexiness that is difficult to deny. But, you will let anyone adore you, so your partner has to make the effort or you will pad off to your next Lioness!!

LEO FEMALE IN BED
You are elegant and sexy without even trying. Men love you and women want to be you. You like to play cat and mouse with men and command respect. In bed, you are a real panther and can scare the pants off most men. You adore raw sex, so your partner should go with you and enjoy it. You're a once in a lifetime experience!

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON LEO
A Leo's 'moan zone' is his or her back. First of all, ask your Leo to roll onto his/her tummy. Start with a gentle scratch that runs from the top of the ass to the base of the skull. I'm not talking about tender tickles or a tantalizing tease - I mean a REAL back scratch, coz if there's one thing cats love, it's a scratch! After a minute or so, get out the massage oil and spill it into a snakey pattern on Leo's back. Then rub all over. Keep doing this until you know Leo is ready to roll over. If they start falling asleep, give them a gentle prod in a delicate place! Once Leo is ready to roll over, don't let them! Leo will be excited by your control. YOU decide when it's time to 'flip your feline' over and get into the good stuff!


VIRGO

August 24 - September 23
Ruling Planet: Mercury
The God in charge of intellect and speed but don't worry because Virgo likes to take their time in the sack!! Virgos have two sides to their personality. The Virgin and the Vixen. They may want you to THINK they are all sweet and virginal, but they are definitely NOT! However, Virgos are looking for a long term partner, not a one night stand or an affair! They tend to seduce with finesse, charm and sublety so you may not even realize you're being lured by a Virgo!! Once Virgo has been in a relationship for awhile, they get engrossed in housework and things like that, which can cause a serious dip in libido. Do NOT let this happen! They are definitely more of a "can we cuddle instead" sign that a 'let's get it on!' one when committed.

FAVE POSITION
Almost anything, as long as it involves eye contact!

BEST SEX TOY
It's more of a game. Write down five wild sex acts and put them in a bowl. Get Virgo to pick one out at random, and then do what you're told!! Virgo LOVES spontaneous sexuality!

VIRGO MALE IN BED
You can be quite boring at times because you have set views on how a woman should be. You don't mean to criticize or offend, but your perfectionist ways may drive your lover loopy! You DO have some kinky ideas though, but it is difficult to get to the bottom of your passion! You are a creature of habit, so if your lover can get you into the habit of sleeping with her, who knows what might happen?

VIRGO FEMALE IN BED
You are hardworking and careful about your appearance, but you really do fantasize about getting down and dirty! You are a secret romantic and crave the perfect lover. Since the perfect lover doesn't exist, you'll take what you can get! You are quite insecure and need a partner who will adore you. You have strong passion beneath that practical exterior and are just waiting for someone to unearth it!

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON VIRGO
Virgo's have a VERY sexually sensitive tummy!! If you wanna make them putty in your hands, stroke, lick and kiss their stomach!! The area from the bellybutton DOWN! Once you have them squirming, you can have anything you want!! Just remember to keep one hand on their tummy at all times!!


LIBRA

September 24 - October 23
Ruling Planet: Venus - The planet in charge of beauty, love peace, and stirring sensuality

Libra is one of the sexiest signs in the zodiac, but if Libra can't get what they want from one lover, they will opt for two! They are notorious for having double standards in that situation too. They'll look you in the eye and say "never cheat on me, coz I would never do it to you", even when they have a hot night of passion planned with someone else!
Librans are more turned on 'giving' than 'receiving'. They have a big heart and are the least selfish sign of the Zodiac. Libras are not very open about their thoughts or fantasies. They'd rather say nothing than tell the truth and offend or embarrass you. In bed, it takes a while for them to be comfortable enough to tell you exactly what they want.

FAVE POSITION
As long as they are lying down, they're happy!

BEST SEX TOY
K.Y. Jelly. I will say no more!

LIBRA MALE IN BED
The Libra man sees sex as an exciting adventure and he'd be very keen to do it in kinky places like a restaurant toilet! He likes being a bad boy if ! there's a chance he might get caught. He'll try out any fantasy you have, but whether or not you can keep a tight hold on his heart remains to be seen. However, he can be a bit of a pushover, and is perfect husband material, and he'd prefer his lover to take the lead. He is romantic and considerate but may suffer from Premature Ejaculation!

LIBRA FEMALE IN BED
The only thing that separates Libra men and women is what's between their legs! Libra girl wants a strong man who understands that she needs her individuality and freedom. She is turned off by burping, farting, and bad breath. Good personal hygiene is crucial if you want to get to 2nd base. Librans are very good at lying to get their own way. When your Libra girl groans in bed, look into her eyes to make sure she's not 'faking it'.

THE BEST WA! Y TO TURN ON LIBRA
Libra's Love Zone is their lower back and butt, so please, squeeze and pat your Libra's butt whenever you get a chance. When you're kissing, reach under his or her top and stroke the lower part of their back, starting in the middle and working your way down to their butt. Take your time and be gentle! To really drive your Libra wild? Have you ever heard of the term 'Rimming'??? Does it surprise you that a high percentage of Libras are gay?


SCORPIO

October 24 - November 22
Ruling Planet: PLUTO, The Roman God of the dead, beginnings and endings. Which basically means that Scorpios add novel differences to any relationship.

Scorpios are very possessive. They will tense up if you even LOOK at another hottie across the room. But they can be relied on to always be there for you if you need them. You may never really know what your Scorpio is thinking though, because to them, Knowledge is power and they are very good at putting on a straight face to cover up any emotion they are feeling. Scorpios love sex. The dirtier, the better. Get them excited by revealing your filthiest fantasy and offering to act it out.

FAVE POSITION:
Anything, as long as it involves dominating your ass.

BEST SEX TOY:
Ben Wah Balls for the girls, and a Riding Crop for the boys

SCORPIO MALE IN BED
His sexuality is so strong, it will make you dizzy!! If you are lucky enough to be with a Scorpio boy, you will always be satisfied!! There's a rumour that the Scorpio man is the most skilled in bed. It's as true as a black man has a giant wang!!! Most are pretty good!! The only thing you don't wanna do is piss him off. Every little thing you do that he doesn't like, he will file away in his little mental rolodex. Piss him off one too many times, and he will wreak his revenge!!!

SCORPIO FEMALE IN BED
She may look like a quiet, shy girl, but in bed she is NOT! She is a wildly passionate woman, who is DYNAMO is the bedroom. Just don't piss her off either, coz she can more vengeful than a Scorpio man, and she has no problem causing a scene! Don't talk about other women, or play hard to get, because she will get you back, and it's a game
of one-upmanship you will never win.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SCORPIO
Since this is one of the horniest signs, it makes sense that their moan zone is between their legs! Then again, their big head (or their mind) is just as easy to turn on. Talking dirty and teasing your Scorpio will get them ready and randy in a flash!! Without getting too graphic, the magic words for today are RUB, RUB, RUB.


SAGITTARIUS

November 23 - December 22
Ruling Planet: JUPITER, God of money, luck and good times between the sheets.

Sagos are playful, laid back and oh-so fun to party with. They are wild, and may be the BADDEST party people you ever meet! One thing to be wary of is that Sagos like to talk BULLSHIT! Don't believe everything they tell you because they are kings at 'talking it up'. If you happen to score a one-nighter with a Sago, be prepared to do stuff you've NEVER done before! Sagos are spontaneous and adventurous and most have probably been caught doing it somewhere public. When they find the right lover, they will give it 100% as long as the commitment is returned.

FAVE POSITION:
They are up for anything. Quality AND Quantity.

BEST SEX TOY:
Handwrite a sexual fantasy of yours and leave it on their pillow. You'll be surprised at what happens next!

SAGITTARIAN MALE IN BED
Even if he's fat, balding and middle aged, he can still pull the chicks. It's his love and pursuit of happiness that draws the babes to him. Think "Austin Powers"! baby, yeah! He is a wee bit selfish though, so be prepared for an "all about me" attitude in the sack. He LOVES doing it, and if you start holding out on him, he's likely to get it somewhere else.

SAGITTARIAN FEMALE IN BED
The Sago woman is a handful! She changes her mind more often than she shaves her armpits, is blunt, oversensitive and takes offense at the strangest things. She's adventurous in the bedroom and also has no problems cheating if her needs are not fulfilled. But can you handle her open-minded sexuality? She will hide her emotions from you, but don't make the mistake of hiding yours from her. She's looking for someone she can trust 100%, but is quite hypocritical since she can be very untrustworthy herself.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SAGITTARIUS
Hips and thighs are extremely sensual for a Sago, so concentrate on massaging and stroking that area and the place in between! Don't be afraid to ask your Sago if you're doing it right coz they would LOVE to tell you! The best way to get them going is to grope their inner thigh in a public place!


CAPRICORN

December 23 - January 20
Ruling Planet: SATURN - The God who oversees time, discipline and dedication, which means Capricorn! can go the distance - with major staying power - in bed and beyond!! Capricorns are very good at hiding their emotions, so it's often hard to tell when they are truly, deeply in love. If you have a load of cash, you can almost bet on admiration from a Capricorn because the goat is turned on by money. Like I said before, Capricorn has great sexual stamina and the ability to go all night if they want to!

FAVE POSITION:
Spooning! Goat boys and girls love to take, or be taken from behind.

BEST SEX TOY:
An office desk to "bond" on, or an erotic video will loosen up the randy goat.

CAPRICORN MALE IN BED
Imagination isn't a strong suit for Capricorn so! don't expect acrobatics in the sack. Sex with him could possibly be as boring as watching paint dry and he tends to be a little bit selfish in that area too. BUT you can definitely count on him to be faithful if he has committed to you.

CAPRICORN FEMALE IN BED
She is strong and confident and likes to run the show! She's a tough nut to crack but once inside her shell, she's as sweet as caramel. Her fave position may be missionary, but she seeks excitement in new locations, so experiment with different venues to keep it interesting.

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CAPRICORN
Capricorns are the most anal signs of the zodiac, so buttering them up will take a bit of effort. Believe it or not, their erotic area is the knees! Lightly stroke their legs, paying close attention to the knee region. Licking, kissing, and nibbling the area will get them squirming

Monday Nights at Cookie Bar

Was looking forward to a relaxing time after work. All I wanted to do was race home and crawl underneath the doona to escape the cold. It's nearly Summer and the weather is so f**ked up! Kitty emailed me in the afternoon and wanted to meet for drinks. Damn! There goes my plan of staying in. I felt I hadnt had a chance to catch up with her one on one in ages, so what the hell. Atleast without the others, there was a good chance I could have two drinks and go straight home. So Cookie Bar it is then! Kitty told me about The Dealer. Too young, too immature. He has an exaggerative (is this a word?) way of expressing himself, complete with hand and body movements. Kitty, you need to lose him! Always try before you buy and you havent even tried. He's a nice guy, but come on, how long does a girl have to wait?

Princess Model called while I was in Cookie and said she'd be there with MCC. I was scared! Princess Model will make me drink and stay till god-knows-when! Thank God all went well, I had my two glasses of Sauvignon Blancs and left by 7.45pm. No cocktails, no late night. What an achievement. But I cant make Monday nights at Cookie a habit. Princess Model will be having a farewell party this Saturday. It was a debate over Blvd or Eve. Marsha and I definitely dont want to go to Eve. But then again it is Princess Model's farewell, not ours. It should really be her choice. However, she's not leaving for good and she'll be back before we know it. So why the dilemma? MCC is happy with anything. Princess Model is adamant she wont step foot in Blvd. She doesnt want to spend her last weekend in Melbourne with 18 year old boys! She wants to go to Eve to spend her last weekend here with wrinkly old men instead. Ha! We shall see what happens.

Peking Duck

After a good workout on Sunday afternoon, KM organised dinner at Old Kingdom. The best value Peking Duck in town. It comes with instructions on how to fold the crepes from the chef himself. If you've never been there before, Simon (the chef) can be quite scary. He's like the Peking Duck Nazi. You must follow his intructions word for word. If not, he will not hesitate to tell you off in front of everyone. Dont get me wrong, he is by no means rude or anything. That's just the way he is. After a while you will actually find his antics quite funny. On top getting good food, Simon provides each table with entertainment as well. The rest of the menu is catered for Aussies, nothing great. But the Peking Duck is to die for. One duck makes 3 separate dishes, so really it isnt necessary to order anything else off the menu apart from maybe steamed rice or fried rice.

Every Sunday we seem to have a big dinner. It kind of defeats the purpose of working out really. Before I commited myself to working out with KM and TOT, I think I ate alot more healthily than I do now. Now, every Sunday we look forward to dining in a different restaurant each time. This cant be good. Princess Model brought Shaolin along. KM invited Toyboy and he brought his girlfriend along. She is gorgeous. Never really noticed in the clubs but sitting next to her, I realised she is actually very pretty. KM also invited The Hairdresser, Mrs & Mrs S and Civic. I've never had the pleasure of sharing a conversation with Toyboy or The Hairdresser whilst sober, so this was an experience. I only ever see them in clubs and either they're smashed or I'm smashed. If only you were here to see for yourself, Toyboy is actually quite intelligent. He's off to Thailand with his girlfriend in January. How romantic. The Hairdresser was pleasant. Cant believe I've known him since I was 18. We did alot of illegal things together back then. Time sure flies. He's now married with a daughter and yet still parties hard every weekend. Good to see him around.

Wonder what's for dinner next Sunday? Yum yum....

Lazy Saturday

On Saturday we all woke up to have lunch at Thanh Phong (again) in Richmond. We love this restaurant. Cheap and good, which reminds me of this. GOOD, FAST, CHEAP. Very rarely can you find anything that is equally good, delivered equally fast and cost equally cheap. If you want something good and cheap, it will never come fast. If you want something good and fast, then it certainly wont be cheap. And finally, if you want it fast and cheap, then dont expect it to be good. But Thanh Phong is an exception. The food is good, service is fast and it doesnt cost an arm and a leg. There used to be a time when I used to go there every other day. The soup is addictive! As TOT says, we go there for an MSG attack. Everyone was hung over or coming down from something. But I must say years ago when Bob, Piggy and Kitty were coming down from the night before, they never used to be able to eat or sleep and they always looked like they were ready to kill. I used to stay away from them the morning after. They were scary! This bunch of people I had lunch with on Saturday were all in good spirits and happy as Larry. I guess different people feel different effects of the pharmaceuticals. Ball Breaker organised lunch and VB had said he couldnt make it because he was playing golf. But in the end he showed up anyway. Couldnt stay away from us incase he missed out on anything.

Very relaxing afternoon, just hung out and watched Foxtel all day until we were kicked out of the house! Then we went on to hang out at KM's apartment.

I had to take Ball Breaker to the airport. Last minute business trip to South East Asia. Bitch! I'm gonna miss you even though it's only for a week. Everyone else went to Eve that night, even FF. It was a repeat of the night before with House music, dancing, popping, drinking. Thank god I didnt go. In bed under the doona was my comfort zone for the night.

Lavish House Edition 3

Mr& Mrs S are back! We all gathered to have dinner at Crystal Jade. I had organised dinner earlier in the day. Everyone confirmed their attendance which was great. Booking was for 8.30pm and at 8.10pm, I get a message from VB telling me he has to pass on dinner and is now going to take a power nap before coming out later in the night. What the?? He finished work at 6.30pm, so what was he doing for nearly 2 hours before deciding he didnt want to come for dinner? Hmmmph! The food was great and Mr & Mrs S shared their holiday stories with us around the table. They went to the Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan. What an experience that must've been! Mrs S said there was more R&B music than House. Oh what a shame! We must all plan another trip to Thailand together some time next year. The last time we all went, it was such good fun. This time we must include Ball Breaker and Princess Model. Mrs S also brought along her new Chloe Paddington which was beautiful. I'm so jealous!!! Unfortunately, she discovered there was a stud missing from the bag after it was too late to return it. I guess she'll have to try David Jones or Cactus Jam. I dont know any other place that stocks Chloe handbags.

After dinner, we went back to QV. Had a bottle of wine and updated Mrs S on the local goss. Cant believe so much has happened in a span of 2 weeks. New characters have been introduced to this blog. People keep asking me who they are. STOP ASKING! The people who are featured in here will know who they are and the people who are not sure, well, you can assume whatever you like. Kitty was supposed to join us but at the last minute was not feeling well, so went home to bed instead. The one time we organised to go to Lavish together, she goes and falls sick! Bloody hell.

House Edition 3 was on at Lavish with guest DJ Grant Smillie. I had no idea who this DJ was when I was first told he'd be playing at Lavish. Never even heard of him. But now I know he's famous for being one half of TV Rock and recently won an Aria for "Flaunt It". Oooohhh.... still didnt make an impact on me. House music just doesnt do it for me. Commercial house maybe, but not technno/ trance/ house rubbish. Anyway, it was a good night all the same.

VB was still very nosy over Princess Model's affairs. He hasnt stopped asking about Shaolin. What is with this obsession? Who cares if they are together or not, and anyway, they are just friends. Does he think there's a conspiracy going on and he's not part of it? VB said Mrs S gave it all away. Gave what away?? There was nothing to give away in the first place. It's all in his head. So, so nosy. Like last week, photos from the Melboure Cup bbq were emailed across to Malaysia immediately so to inform SG of Shaolin. Now, the lot of us were in those photos too, so how come he didnt email the photos to us as well? Lucky, I know people. The same email was forwarded back to us in Melbourne with its original message intact! Dont think we dont know. We know everything. It's been nearly a week now, and VB still hasnt emailed any of us those photos!

Back to Friday night, the lot of them were drug f**ked. Ball Breaker and I spent most of the night in the Retro Room with November Cleo. No interest in DJ Smillie or house music. Seems to me they can still be friends. Conversation was good. VB seemed a little smacked out, but still managed to watch me like a hawk (yet again - must be another one of his obsessions too!). Come on. What do you think I'm capable of? I feel so suffocated and he's not even my boyfriend! When I speak to the bar tender, his eyes are following me, when I speak to the DJ, his eyes are following me, when I speak to someone he's never met before, his eyes are following me. What's up with that? Is he obsessed with me or is he just obsessed with trying to catch me doing something wrong? I cant have new friends anymore with VB behaving like this. VB, I love you, but only in small doses. You are like a powerful drug which can only be consumed in small doses or else it would be lethal. Big Head was there too, all over KC. I wonder, did they or didnt they? He didnt seem too keen to talk to her or her breasts. Highlight of the night was when we were all leaving, The Giant actually stopped to say goodbye to me. What a surprise! Must've been high on something. Just seemed too overly friendly. So my theory still stands, he actually does know me but just refuses to acknowledge me. I can deal with that. After all, I'm not the one who would rather f**k him over Ah Sook (*wink*). You know who you are. We've had this discussion before and I still cant believe you'd rather do him over Ah Sook. Atleast Ah Sook is "clean" (as quoted by Princess Model).

The party moved on to QV. I was reluctant to go, smoking is just not my thing. I went along anyway. Hmmph! Should've taken a cab home, if not I'm sure someone from Lavish would've been kind enough to give me a lift home. Laid in bed for over an hour whilst these guys were getting into it. The smell made me want to puke, so I got up and decided I would just take a cab home. Ball Breaker could sense my anger and got up to leave as well (to take me home). For some reason, VB got up and bolted out the door, like he was angry at or running away from something. Weird. According to my sources, he thought Ball Breaker and I were going to break out into a big screaming match and he didnt want to be involved. What's he got to do with anything? Weird. I dont mean to be a party pooper but those of you out there who know me well, know that my zone is a drug free zone. This is not new. You guys didnt just meet me yesterday did you? I dont mind the people around me doing it and I dont judge them for doing it, I just dont want to be a part of it and even if I did do it, it would only be with a selected few. Mr & Mrs S, I'm so disappointed in you guys for even believing I would do an E! Hmmph! I would never dream of doing it without you Mrs S. I will need you there to take care of me!